Yesterday was day 40 of the Daniel Fast. This has been another amazing experience. With each year and each fast I move closer and closer to living like that on a daily basis rather than just for a time period….but there is something very special about committing that time with God. I love to dwell in His presence….but I feel like I can never get close enough. We had a chihuahua….Jack….he was such a good snuggler…..but he could never seem to get close enough….he would be right next to me…..smashed up as close as possible but he would still wiggle and push to get even closer…..that’s how I feel with God….there are moments of comfort….then I start to wiggle and push to get even closer….and that feels good.
I’m having some really wonderful experiences…..spirit led experiences. Eric and I are taking a class on “the blood covenant”….it sounds pretty mystical and magical….and it is! It’s really powerful….really exciting…..really enlightening. My spiritual life has seemed to be all over the place….and it has…..like a puzzle….there are pieces that you don’t think could possibly be a part of the same picture….and seem as if they are even on opposing ends….yet the more the picture comes together, the more clear and amazing it is how it all works together….it’s all a part of the same picture….even when it seemed as though I was going in the opposite direction….and the picture is so vast and more beautiful than I thought it could be….and it’s still just coming into light….”I ain’t seen nothin’ yet”. I have also been reminded that some good things are in my life permanently and some aren’t….or I just need to take my focus on the next right thing….the right thing for me to progress….for me to become who I was created to be….and it is all okay if I follow God….God’s direction for my life….if I don’t, things just get uncomfortable until I do…but as soon as I do they are comfortable and exciting again.
One of my amazing things….well this has been coming into view for many years….but it seems as though there is extra light and extra energy when I’m doing this fast….and the addict in me wants it 24/7….and of course, more, more, more….actually I think that the wanting of more, more, more is really the void that only God can fill and I will continue to want more until it is filled by Him. Oh dear, I do believe that I’m becoming fanatical….oh well : ) Back to my amazing thing….Reiki. I have been working with this energy since 1997 and it has been quite the experience. I can’t even begin to compute the amount of hours I have spent working with this, receiving information…from God…then applying it…then receiving more and applying that as well. Over the past 7 years I seem to have been in an intensive training with this learning how to attune places, people, times, chakra’s, clearing emotions, energy blocks….some really cool stuff. During this fast a woman was sent to me by a mutual friend, someone that I have never met….(I still haven’t met her, this was all done as distance healing….but we talked on the phone), she was sent to me to heal one thing….which we did….but by applying the lessons that God has taught me….it went deeper and wider than was apparent…it has been such a beautiful experience……and I believe a validating experience….I will just keep going forward and will know by the results….I will know by the fruit : )
I have so much more that I have learned or have been enlightened about….like faith….what it is….I thought I had it…and I did/do….but my understanding of it is so much more clear and it’s clear in a way that is powerful, active and profound. Actually so much has been coming to me over the past few months that I haven’t written about that I hope to. I’ll admit, I’ve been a little bit shy about putting things on here….I think too much about who will read it and what they will think….but that creates a block….when I’m real….cool things happen : )
Be still and know that I am God, Psalm 46:10 was a strong message to me yesterday and today. We are now on our final cleanse of the year and honestly, I was feeling a little less motivated for this one than I did earlier in the year….wondering if I did too many to really reap the spiritual “rewards” because I wasn’t keeping it as sacred. When I got out of the shower yesterday morning, the list of my “prayers” from the summer fast were on the counter. I’m not quite sure how they got out there….it isn’t huge crazy thing because I keep prayer papers behind my clock there and it didn’t have far to slip out….but it did somehow. I read over the list….which was kind of like a list of chores really…..and felt a little indigent because none of them happened. I thought, “what’s up God, I did what I was supposed to….why didn’t you fulfill this list of demands here?” ha ha. Then I started to realize that I had it a little off….although I do pray for what ever I pray for “or better in the highest good of all concerned”….I was missing the mark a bit. The way that I have been doing this since 2005 is to list what I want help with then do the fasting and prayer….so many times what I have asked for or better comes either during or after….and it just clicks into place. So that led me to believe that my “works” of fasting, (Daniel fasting), while praying was “earning” me my desires….not so…although God does….and quite often….thanks God!….fulfill my needs and many desires. What I believe that I had mixed up was the process and the actual intent of that process. As I learned in “Experiencing God”, God will place a desire in our hearts, then we need his direction, guidance and grace to fulfill that desire. By fasting and praying I am removing the obstacles that are in my control….so that I can hear God, surrender to God and let Him show me what I need and what I want. It really does work so much better that way because He can see what I can’t even dream about because I’m not aware of it….I’ve been shown that so many times…..but I needed to be shown that again : )
This morning has been a beautiful, wonderful, magical awakening. I’ve been shown obstacles, misunderstandings and blockages that have impacted my beliefs…they are things that I haven’t been able to change on my own….and can’t change on my own….I need God to do it….I need(ed) to ask Him to do it….and I did. I said the prayers with Eric, it was quite powerful. I am also very aware of the things that He has already done in my life that I could never have done on my own. The safety, love and trust I feel right now is….I don’t want to say intoxicating because that is a negative word….but it’s an all encompassing, blissful pleasure that I don’t have a word to describe.
Be still and know that I am God reminds me that I just need to relax and spend time with Him so that I can hear Him….that is where I get my direction, I don’t have to work on it, I have to allow it, trust it, follow it…..that is swimming with the current rather than against it. Also, “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you“. Can it really be that easy? Yes! But it’s not easy to trust that and fall into the flow….that is the hard part….that is the part of surrender….that is what I was reminded to do. Life is so much better than I ever imagined that it could be….and that’s God’s doing….not mine. I know that I can gratefully trust Him with the rest.
I’m feeling really good. The plan was to go 21 days, then vegan for another 19…but I’m happy raw…and it’s January in Michigan! The cleansing group that I have been privileged to lead is doing so well, pounds have been dropping, but the best part is that people are feeling so good and are wanting to continue eating this way….they’re doing cooked and raw. Eric gave up his coffee again and could have had it back as of yesterday but chose not to : ) He looks good…his skin has a plumpness and glow to it that it didn’t before. Others have given up coffee too and you can see it in their faces. Alexis has been doing this with us from the beginning of the year and is still with it too…she completed her 21 days and took her real milk back and had a little chicken…but nothing processed…she likes how she feels too. One of the best parts with her was an answer to a prayer, actually two. She has been undecided on what direction to go in for college….major and school….about 2 weeks ago she was panicking about it, I asked her if she had been saying her prayers and did Reiki….no kidding, within 30 minutes she came running down the stairs all excited because she found a major that incorporated everything that she wanted to do and one of the schools that she was already accepted by had a top program in that area, she has been strong on that ever since. We haven’t actually visited this college yet because it’s 9 hours away : O….but she has read everything about it and has done every virtual tour available…. now instead of going somewhere warm and sunny for spring break, we will be going deeper into the heart of winter….another : O…but she loves snow.
It’s so heartwarming and motivating to see how cleansing with prayer and purpose impacts people. Someone following the blog, (Tif : ) even decided to give it a try.
I’ve had the same juices all 3 days so I didn’t re-post it. So far, so good. Yesterday was the most detoxifying….the second day usually is, I took another shower before I went to bed and felt so much better. I know I seem to say this every time I go on a cleanse…..but….that corn that shows up on my foot all the time was there again, and painful, it’s been painful for at least a month and I’ve been aware of it for longer….it’s gone! I feel like continuing the juicing for a while longer, the next couple of days are pretty busy and it feels easier to do that than to figure out what to eat, I feel like more will be released if I continue too….and I really don’t feel like eating yet….which is very strange for me so I want to honor what my body is telling me. Alexis has been doing this with me, I’m so impressed! She is going on a medical mission trip to Nicaragua with our church in February and also needs to pick her college, so praying and fasting are a really good thing for her right now. I’m also praying for her, I feel that God is leading her to the trip, and leading me to let her go….this is her 3rd one….but the first out of the country. There are 3 adults that we know well going and the leader has taken this trip over 20 times, she’s my baby and sometimes I can’t believe that I’m letting her do this, but then a calm will come over me…I’m really hoping that it’s God saying that everything will be okay….of course that is on the top of my prayer list too….along with both kids getting into the right colleges for them and other things. Eric started today. I have a group starting Friday and Monday….this is a great start to the year I must say : )
….and I feel good. I think that the phenylalanine is what I needed. I am still having caffeine in the form of iced tea and the zip fizz….but one thing at a time….it seems that when I just focus on releasing one thing at a time gently, it tends to stay released.
As usual when I give up a crutch, a defect or fear that I’ve been trying to hide from myself shows up….not consciously, but there….and I have received yet another gift. It makes me wonder if God is ever going to get finished cleaning me up : ) This was a gift through Al-anon. It was a way that I responded in fear trying to keep things under control just based on a tone of voice, fear of a situation, or the possibility of a situation. It got played out recently, but it’s so irrelevant to my life now and was negatively impacting my relationship with someone very important to me….I’m so grateful that this was shown to me and released.
There have been quite a few times now where I have had to completely surrender to God….it’s always been after tremendous struggle from trying to do things on my own first. Now there is just a quiet discontent, a slight disconnect….a longing for that closeness and enveloping security, freedom and joy that comes from this type of surrender…..and I want that feeling. I’ve been praying for God to show me the avenue to get that closeness and security again….there’s nothing bad happening….I just feel the drift and want to close the gap. It feels like raw food is the way to go, and I did it today, I’m going to do it again tomorrow, I’m not sure how long, but I will know when it’s up. Something feels ready to happen….something really good….I want all blockages removed, anything and everything that stands in between God and me. Oprah said on her last show that she just asked God to let her be of service and not cause any harm….and wow, look what He did through her! I would love to be of service and not cause harm….I know that when I’m in God’s will, I’m full of joy….so that is where I want to be, always.
Yesterday was a week! I’ve done that before and not felt good, and other times I have felt fine….so it’s not really a big deal at this point. What is a big deal though is this….almost all of the problems that I listed last week that have been going on for quite a while are really faded or gone.
I haven’t needed a nap all week….I took one on Sunday just because it was gloomy and I wanted to lay down and watch some tv….but other than that, I’ve been fine and more productive than I have been in a while. My energy is balanced throughout the day….I am still drinking caffeine though in the form of iced tea, (Lipton mixed with Green lemon and ginseng), green tea and zip fizz….so I’m not perfect….one thing at a time : ) I will say though that I’m not having as much as I did at the beginning of last week and I only have one green tea a day….I really think that it was the Phenylalanine that my body wanted….and I am taking that.
My heart burn is gone, I’m a lot less sore, my mood is good, I’m not getting really hungry until it’s time to eat….but I want to eat when it’s time. The muscle and joint pain are just about gone. This is amazing….my knee and hip, like I said, have been out for several weeks and it was really affecting my workouts, yoga and walking. Saturday when I was doing a yoga/Pilates thing I do, I couldn’t get into a yoga position, then when I was doing Pilates it really got stuck and hurt. I asked God to fix it…I pulled my knee a little then rocked my leg in my hip socket a couple of times and heard a pop and it hasn’t hurt since….I can bend completely at the knee again….there’s a little “remembrance” of the pain….but it’s so slight, I expect it to be gone in no time….this has only been a week : ) I get shown time and time again what a poison it is in my body, yet, I have gone back over and over. Taking the phenylalanine has also helped because I’m afraid of taking too much….so that has kept me away from all of the diet soda pop. I still have a few of the complaints that I had last week….but I am very hopeful from this week.
I got my blood re-tested for the lipoprotein a and it went down….only 5 points since January it was at 49 now it’s at 44, ideally it should be under 30….and it will be….but for now I’ll be happy that it’s moving in the right direction….I know that I wrote in here before that I believed that the aspartame could be contributing to it and I will get the blood test again in November….so I can put that theory to the test.
For many of you, yesterday marked your 21st day. Remember, this isn’t the end, it’s only the beginning. You gave God the beginning of your year, now see what He will do with the rest. From my experience….and of course I had to learn this the hard way : )….it’s best to start with the lighter animal products first like eggs and yogurt, then fish and chicken, then beef….and not too many different ones in the first few days. If you really want a heavier protein, it will digest better if you don’t eat a grain with it.
This has been a very exciting and satisfying experience for me because Eric did it with me….I’m looking forward to seeing what God does through us as a couple…..I’m looking forward to it very much. He has had personal revelation, no caffeine….and it has been a good thing, and his abs are firm and rock hard again….He’s never been fat, but he was getting a little soft there…not any more!
As I said earlier, I want to do it for 40 days this time and you are so welcome to join me…..If you are at the end…..that’s great! Thank you for walking this path with me. I would/will love to hear how it has impacted you.