This came attached to the bottom of an email I received today and really stuck out.
I’m getting rather embarrassed to keep talking about giving up Pepsi Max to just have to talk about it again because I have jumped back in and can’t seem to find my way out. It makes me feel like a failure. It’s comforting though to remember that I went through this same grooling pain with cigarettes, sugar free gum, (I was chewing a pack a day, had TMJ and was leaving little wads of wrapped up gum all over the house, my car, my purse….so classy ; ), the nicotine gum of course, coffee….although, that wasn’t a problem, God just seemed to take that one from me…..(but not the obsession for caffeine). With alcohol, sugar and flour I was led to a 12 step group and haven’t had to turn back….of course I did need to get to extreme level of pain before I would take such a drastic move.
I was able to do all raw for 5 months….I did keep the caffeine though….Daniel fasts are an annual ritual…..so what gives with this Pepsi Max? I’ll tell you. It makes me feel happy. We went to Florida in March and I got up to drinking about 2 liters a day, when we got home I was feeling the effects, (I’ll list them later because they’re back), so I tapered down and got completely off all caffeine….for about a week….then I had a frustration….part of life….and it sounded really good….so I had one….but that is never enough and I kept going until I’m at 2 liters a day again. I’m eating mostly vegetarian, take supplements, exercise, meditate, do yoga….so many things to be healthy…..but then I go and wipe it all out with this….and the more I think of stopping, the more I want it…..kind of like the diet that’s going to start Monday so you binge all weekend on what you won’t be able to eat…..crazy. So if it makes me feel happy and I’m doing all of the other healthy things….doesn’t it make sense that I could have this one little vice? I always seem to convince myself of that. If I’m totally honest though….and I need to be…..this is also what it’s giving me:
I get tons of energy and happy feelings when I first drink it….but then I enter crash mode several hours later…..and I never seem to get totally back up for the rest of the day….would you believe that I long for a new day to start so that I can start drinking it again?
My stomach is bloated and bigger….my clothes still fit….but it’s just different. I feel full a lot of the time…..but hungry way before it’s time to eat…..the fat on my abs is weird, it’s dense yet squishy, yet thick….not really attractive….there’s not a lot….but what is there is yucky.
Muscle and joint pain, especially my knee and hip, I’ve gone to the chiropractor 3 times for it and they can’t fix it….I think it’s the chemicals in the soda pop. My neck hurts in a weird way too if I turn it in different directions.
My skin feels sticky at times….I think from my skin trying to detox this poison I’m putting into it….I’m sorry skin : ( My teeth feel soft and sticky when I’m drinking it too….funny since there isn’t any sugar in it.
I feel really bad about myself because I can’t get this under control….and I hate not being in control…..although sometimes it’s really fun to let loose….and this seems to let me do it….hey, maybe that’s a clue! I knew it would help to talk to you : )
Okay, so here’s my new plan, (and I started today):
No Pepsi Max
500 mg of Phenylalanine a day, (it’s the amino acid in aspartame…..I think that my body may crave that), don’t take it yourself though without finding out if it’s okay for you.
Iced tea, (to replace the Pepsi Max), right now it has caffeine and green tea….I will taper this down gradually.
Everything else is the same. I really want to get this monkey off my back….but I want to feel good and have fun….so I will make an effort to do something silly or fun…this is really just since I wrote it up there.
We get so many hits every day for the caffeine detox posts….please God, help us all who want to be free of it. If you have successfully gotten this behind you, please let us know what you did, it appears to be quite an epidemic…..and God, go ahead and use me as an example….a happy, glad I did it example.