Do not ask the Lord to Guide your Footsteps if you are not willing to MOVE your Feet

This came attached to the bottom of an email I received today and really stuck out.

I’m getting rather embarrassed to keep talking about giving up Pepsi Max to just have to talk about it again because I have jumped back in and can’t seem to find my way out.  It makes me feel like a failure.  It’s comforting though to remember that I went through this same grooling pain with cigarettes, sugar free gum, (I was chewing a pack a day, had TMJ and was leaving little wads of wrapped up gum all over the house, my car, my purse….so classy ; ), the nicotine gum of course, coffee….although, that wasn’t a problem, God just seemed to take that one from me…..(but not the obsession for caffeine).  With alcohol, sugar and flour I was led to a 12 step group and haven’t had to turn back….of course I did need to get to extreme level of pain before I would take such a drastic move.

I was able to do all raw for 5 months….I did keep the caffeine though….Daniel fasts are an annual ritual… what gives with this Pepsi Max?  I’ll tell you.  It makes me feel happy.  We went to Florida in March and I got up to drinking about 2 liters a day, when we got home I was feeling the effects, (I’ll list them later because they’re back), so I tapered down and got completely off all caffeine….for about a week….then I had a frustration….part of life….and it sounded really good….so I had one….but that is never enough and I kept going until I’m at 2 liters a day again.  I’m eating mostly vegetarian, take supplements, exercise, meditate, do yoga….so many things to be healthy…..but then I go and wipe it all out with this….and the more I think of stopping, the more I want it…..kind of like the diet that’s going to start Monday so you binge all weekend on what you won’t be able to eat…..crazy.  So if it makes me feel happy and I’m doing all of the other healthy things….doesn’t it make sense that I could have this one little vice?  I always seem to convince myself of that.  If I’m totally honest though….and I need to be…..this is also what it’s giving me:

I get tons of energy and happy feelings when I first drink it….but then I enter crash mode several hours later…..and I never seem to get totally back up for the rest of the day….would you believe that I long for a new day to start so that I can start drinking it again?

My stomach is bloated and bigger….my clothes still fit….but it’s just different.  I feel full a lot of the time…..but hungry way before it’s time to eat…..the fat on my abs is weird, it’s dense yet squishy, yet thick….not really attractive….there’s not a lot….but what is there is yucky.

Heart burn

Muscle and joint pain, especially my knee and hip, I’ve gone to the chiropractor 3 times for it and they can’t fix it….I think it’s the chemicals in the soda pop.  My neck hurts in  a weird way too if I turn it in different directions.

My skin feels sticky at times….I think from my skin trying to detox this poison I’m putting into it….I’m sorry skin : (  My teeth feel soft and sticky when I’m drinking it too….funny since there isn’t any sugar in it.

I feel really bad about myself because I can’t get this under control….and I hate not being in control…..although sometimes it’s really fun to let loose….and this seems to let me do it….hey, maybe that’s a clue!  I knew it would help to talk to you : )

Okay, so here’s my new plan, (and I started today):

No Pepsi Max

500 mg of Phenylalanine a day, (it’s the amino acid in aspartame…..I think that my body may crave that), don’t take it yourself though without finding out if it’s okay for you.

Iced tea, (to replace the Pepsi Max), right now it has caffeine and green tea….I will taper this down gradually.

Everything else is the same.  I really want to get this monkey off my back….but I want to feel good and have fun….so I will make an effort to do something silly or fun…this is really just since I wrote it up there.

We get so many hits every day for the caffeine detox posts….please God, help us all who want to be free of it.  If you have successfully gotten this behind you, please let us know what you did, it appears to be quite an epidemic…..and God, go ahead and use me as an example….a happy, glad I did it example.

Happy Spring!!!

Wow, I can’t believe that it has been over a month since I’ve blogged!  Since I’ve last talked to you, Brett was home for his spring break…Alexis’s is after next week….and Eric and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary.  We went to Orlando for a week by ourselves, it was actually our first honeymoon.  When we first got married, Eric had just started a new job and we didn’t take the time off….then life just went full force ahead from there : )  I really felt a lot of gratitude on our trip, and it’s so nice to know that we can still have a great time with just the two of us.  We’ve grown together so much and have raised some amazing kids if I do say so myself : )   We had 3 vacations in one, shopping and just doing life in the sun, 2 days of theme parks and 2 days of Joyce Meyer….she’s awesome.  The last conference that I went to of hers, Dave, her husband talked about our country, our declaration and how we are quite far from our rights as citizens…..and how we really need to make ourselves aware of what those rights are and take back our country while we still can….it was very motivational and inspirational.  As our kids need us less and less now….time wise anyway…..we can start putting more time into community issues.  Eric went to a township meeting and I’m planning on going to a state meeting tomorrow on school funding….of course, they want to make more cuts…..that’s the last resource we want to cut….the education of our children….they are our future!  That’s where we’re starting anyway….then we will hopefully be led to help make a difference where we can.  I don’t want to make this the main focus of my life….but it definitely deserves some of my time and effort.

Another thing that I found out about is a possible genetic condition in my family called “lipoprotein a”.  It’s in the families with cholesterol, triglycerides, homocysteine….the fats.  For me, all of those levels are low and well within the normal ranges…I can thank this lifestyle for that : )  The lipoprotein a though is not routinely checked unless requested.  With my aunt, they found that she had high levels of this after she had a quadruple bypass….I believe that she had high cholesterol, but I’m not sure….but it sounds like this may have been what caused her heart problem….and like I said, it’s genetic….so everyone is having it checked.  Mine was 49 and it shouldn’t go over 30.  I had a stress test that didn’t come back completely clear and the doctor suggested a “nuclear medicine stress test”.  There isn’t medication that they are aware of to lower this.  I looked on the internet and found Linus Pauling and his protocol for lipoprotein a.  I told my doctor that I would like to try his protocol and get retested, she agreed.  I did make an appointment for the nuclear test, but when I received the paper work, I decided that I would like to wait and see if this changed things first….it has risks and is quite invasive….I’ll do it if I have to….but I’m going to check with her about waiting until the new blood tests come back first.  The book is called, “Practicing Medicine Without a License?”, if you have high cholesterol or the lp(a), it may be of interest to you.  I also need to face the Pepsi Max issue for real now.  I know that fat in your body will encase dangerous acidic materials in the body to protect it.  This major kick of caffeine quickly passes the blood/brain barrier to give me that instant zippitty do da feeling I love so very much….logically, it would seem that that could be a contributing factor too….so as much as I have been avoiding releasing this magical substance….the time has come.  When I first found out about this, I went off of all caffeine cold turkey….that lasted less than 24 hours.  I have been drinking about 2 liters of it a day and a zip fizz after breakfast….I know….crazy.  Lately too, I have noticed that it has been effecting my moods….anxiety, tension, agitation….and not as much thrill and joy.  I’m programmed to believe that it’s all or nothing with everything….and that is totally appropriate for some things….but not everything… may be appropriate for caffeine….but cold turkey isn’t effective for me.  Today, I have allowed myself 1-24 oz bottle of Pepsi Max and 1 Zip fizz….I’ve had 1/2 of both and am saving the other 1/2’s for after lunch….and I’m fine…..but we are only on day 1 : )  I am also allowing myself all of the tea that I want, (I just keep adding water to the same tea bag), and water of course….I do notice that when ever I go off of the caffeine…or lower it….I’m so thirsty….caffeine is really dehydrating.

Talk to you soon!  Have a great day!


Day 4 and back to real food for some of you….

….if this is your first day of eating again….you may want to go slow….well, you may not want to…..but you could get a serious stomach ache if you don’t. Things like applesauce, banana’s, oat bran, vegetable soups, red lentils, brown rice and steamed vegetables are going to be easier to digest….I had an amazing raw broccoli salad on my first day back to eating….crunchy hummus salad….but it may have been better to wait a day for it….it has been lunch all week though : )

My group came over last night, it’s so nice to do this with other people! The things other people are going though can answer questions that you didn’t know you had and vise versa….I think that it’s nice to just have the support too.  Eric is doing great and has gone 3 days without coffee….he feels free : )  I have another person from our group coming over who couldn’t make it last night….so I’ve got to go for now….Have a great day!!!

End of juice fast for the Daniel fast for me and Chalean Extreme results

Hi All,

This is the end of many’s day 1….like I said, I got excited and started on 1-1-11….I just wanted to write that : ) This is the end of my day 3. I feel good, I am looking forward to solid food tomorrow. This time I had a small grain at each meal, and did not give up caffeine so my suffering wasn’t so bad….and when it was….I just re-said my prayer list, read something inspirational like the Fasting book or the Bible, did some yoga, watched/listened to someone spiritual….Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Joel Osteen, the Copelands….we have DVR and I have DVD’s. I also watched, “Super Charge Me” on Saturday, it’s about a woman who goes raw for 30 days, her experience and transformation…we don’t need to go all raw….unless you want to…..the vegan food will do wonders for you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually…..the movie is motivating though for things you can expect to experience. Another really good movie to watch is “Food Matters”….these are all good tools to keep you on track.

Eric started today, he’s doing okay….he did give up coffee….he has never done that before…..and has to keep saying his prayers ;-). I’m not drinking coffee….I gave that up about a year and a half ago and can’t drink it any more….I recently tried the Teechino too and that was too strong…..I can’t believe that I totally lost my tolerance for something that was such a huge part of my existence. What I am doing though is probably no better….I have become addicted to Pepsi Max and have written about that in here before….I’ve gone up to a couple of months without it and feel down, tired, unmotivated….it’s scary…..the Pepsi Max makes me all right with the world….I’m also having tea that is healthy. This addiction is on my list of prayers. I did pray about this a lot before going on the fast and that’s the conclusion that I came to….I hope it’s not self-indulgent….we shall see.

Chalene Extreme update: I measured myself this morning….there hasn’t been a change since the first month….but I didn’t need to lose weight and I really just wanted to tighten up my abs and arms along with have more energy and a better winter mood….mission accomplished. I didn’t like the “lean phase” and went back to the “burn phase”. I’m just going to start another round of it….they don’t take too long and I can change my aerobic and yoga tapes.

Daniel Fast

I would like to lead a Daniel Fast in January. My goal is to have a guide written by the end of October. I started writing it and realized that it would be a good idea to go on one while I was writing for the most fresh experience and insight I could have. I’ve also been up in the air with some things that I needed clarity on and this is a great way to stop, let go and get insight. The way I like to start it is with 3 days of juice and soy milk or hemp for protein…I’ve also discovered “nutritional yeast”…I’ll tell you about that later. I received one answer to my questions after the first day…and it was a big one. The second day I committed a slice of Ezekiel bread and 1/8 avocado with my juice for lunch and dinner, the 3rd, I had a vegan lunch…committed, and dinner again included the Ezekiel bread and avocado with the juice. On our way home from lunch, I was freaking out a bit in my head about the re-fried beans that I had, they served them with melted cheese on them, I scraped it off but was worrying that I may have eaten some and that I didn’t do total juice/liquid for the entire 3 days and that God was going to withhold or revoke his blessing on me….not a good feeling. The message came to me very calmly and lovingly that this fast was meant to bring me closer to him and that my being so legalistic about these details was doing the opposite….I was still loved.

I laid down to take a nap when we got home, that didn’t go so well….I was just thinking of how to get through the day and start over, I was sick of being such a goody goody and not having any fun…I wanted a state of mind change….so, what did I do? I went out to the garage and got a Pepsi Max and drank it down in about 5 minutes….then I got another one…..and I enjoyed the rest of my day, it did give me my state change and energy… rebellious side came out to play.

This morning waking up I was thinking about this and how could I lead a group if I couldn’t finish it perfectly myself. I thought about the Daniel fasts that I have done in the past, I don’t think that I ever completed one without caffeine, the first one I did, I didn’t even make it to the end….that was the one where I learned about my eating disorder by accidentally eating sugar. Every single one that I have done has given me an awakening, an inner knowledge and strength along the release of “baggage”….physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. For the past 18 years I have been learning to strive for “progress not perfection” and to live rigorously honest….and it works….it works in such an amazing way. I was also reminded that it’s God doing for me what I haven’t been able to do for myself….I’ve been able to abstain from alcohol, cigarettes, gum, sugar and flour because of his guidance, the meetings with other people with the same goals in mind and by taking it one step at a time. I thought about Joyce Meyer who has helped millions if not billions of people even while still continuing to learn and grow….she’ll talk about how she’ll mess up on the very thing that she’s talking about…and I get so much out of listening to her….way more than if she was someone perfect telling the rest of us how to do it….what she says is valuable because she’s learning and growing right in front of us. One of her sayings that I really like is, “I’m not where I need to be yet, but, thank God, I’m not where I used to be”. I can really identify with that statement….and keep moving forward….in my imperfect, learning, growing and still loved way….the biggest lesson is to keep moving forward and not stop because I made a mistake….that’s why I need God : )

Thank you God for another healing!!!

I went to the OB/GYN today for a follow up to an appointment that I had last winter. When I had my annual check up they found my uterus to be too large…it was 20 centimeters when it’s supposed to be 12 and I also had a cyst on my ovary. The doctor took a sample of the tissue and it was fine. She put me on Prometrium to thin the lining…I was terrified to take it with my family history of cancer and the progesterone can cause cancer….I took it though for about 10 days or so….I was supposed to for the entire 6 months….I started feeling side effects, (one of them though was to empty my uterus and it did that….I just didn’t need it for 6 months), and I don’t remember exactly what they were but I got on the web to find out what I could about this….and it is common to prescribe progesterone to thin the lining. I also found that a congested liver could cause cysts on the ovaries and enough information to come to the conclusion to do one…I started with a colon cleanse, then 2 liver cleanses, and finished with a parasite cleanse….actually 2 of those as well. There was a lot of praying involved and Reiki. Today my results were that the uterus lining is now 6.1 and the cyst is gone! She was very happy to give me my good news….and I was very happy to receive it. I hope I don’t sound anit-doctor….because I’m not…I totally believe in getting annual check ups, listening to their advise and following up….and we definitely need them…..but we really need to be aware of our own bodies, ask lots and lots of questions, pray and follow up on what we feel is right, or what God wants us to do….and still keep checking to see if we’re doing it right until it is right. This was the 3rd time that I was prescribed something serious that natural health healed….I would not have known what the problem was though or that it was healed without the doctors. I think that we need to team up with our doctors and take an active role in our health; both preventative and recovery. Both of my parents did what they wanted food, drink and lifestyle wise, both of them….especially my dad….avoided the doctors and doing what was suggested….I think because they knew that “stop smoking, stop drinking, eat better and exercise” would be top on the list and they didn’t what to do that….but they both followed at the end when it was too late but what was being suggested couldn’t compensate for all of the abuse they did to their bodies or the lack of listening when they needed to….and they didn’t have time at that point to look into it. It makes me sad to think about, but it won’t be in vain if we can learn from them or the people around us…this is serious business our health and not something that will go away if we ignore it….actually…it will go away if we ignore it.

Take care of you!!!!!

Still detoxing from the caffeine….I think

Since Aug 22 I have had one 20 bottle of diet coke….and shamefully, a 44 oz big gulp diet coke. The 20 oz bottle didn’t really effect me….it was about 5 days in….the 44 oz….whoa! That was last Saturday, my heart was racing, I was very excited and wide awake for about 3 hours or so….then my head ached and I was tired. I haven’t had any since. For the most part, my energy levels are better than they were before, I am still taking ginseng, 1 100 gram pill in the morning and one in the afternoon, I’ve also had one mid morning….no more than 3 or 4 a day….but usually 2. I’ve also been drinking “treasure tea”. I may have these products on the website, I haven’t had constipation this time and I think that it’s because of this tea…it’s detoxifying. One thing I’m not crazy about though is that I keep waking up around 3 in the morning and don’t get much quality sleep after that and my eyes hurt like they are over tired but wide awake. I don’t know if this is a detox symptom or from something else. I have never gone this long without any caffeine….I switched to green tea and yerba mate’ before….so I’m not sure what is going on. I have more mental clarity and less jumpiness….I wasn’t really aware of it until I stopped the caffeine….I would also worry more before than I am now. I think that this is a good thing….I would just like more clarity on the waking up early and how long until it will be to totally detox from it. Well, off to meditation I go : )