It’s not just the way you eat, it’s a way of life. I’m not 100%, although I was for the first 42 days of the year, but I am following it pretty well, I would say at least 90%…probably more. I’m not all vegan at this point either, although we are going to do 4 cleanses this year and I will be then. Eric still hasn’t had coffee! That is so amazing….just as amazing as it was for me. He too is drinking Teechino and it has really done the trick for him. We are both having a Vitamin C drink that has some caffeine and ginseng in it…so we aren’t totally there…but so much better. We have had more strongholds released….that was VERY interesting….as a couple it’s interesting how we have issues that cross, things we knew were sore spots, but not the real reason why….and that have now been released.
Kid wise, this is an exciting time….a bit frightening….just the letting go part, I so love to be in control you know….I am really needing to trust God again….and He has proven to be quite trustworthy…and awesome : ) Alexis is flying out to Nicaragua tomorrow for the 10 day mission trip, I’m crossing every T and dotting every I, a little nervous, but I do have a sense of peace about it….I admit though that I can’t wait until they get back! Brett is flying from coast to coast going to interviews for grad school, right now he’s at Cal Tech in sunny 80 degree weather, next week Boston, then back out to California….he is “living the life”. Eric and I were talking this morning about one kid staying in a posh hotel getting shuttled around, fed, seeing exciting people in a beautiful atmosphere. The other will be sleeping on an air bed…also meeting exciting people, being fed and in a beautiful atmosphere….but completely different ends of the spectrum….and they are both extremely excited to be doing what they are doing.
I was watching a television sermon this week that is talking about if you had 30 days left to live, what would you do? We played with that idea at our small group earlier this week…..aside from emptying our bank accounts and living it up…what would you do with that money, who would you do it with? I also pondered the question of, “if I were to die today, what would I regret”…..the truth is, nothing. When my Aunt Carole died….about 11 years ago….I did ponder that question….and I took it seriously. My regrets at that point would have been that I missed anything with my kids…..I didn’t need to work, yet I had a good job, it was hard for my ego to let go of it….I pondered leaving it for a year before my aunt died but when she did after just turning 57, I decided not to ponder but to take action…I have no doubt in my mind that that wasn’t part of her plan…no one saw it coming, it was a real blow…and only the beginning unfortunately for more. As tragic as that was, I am grateful for the gift of awareness and that I have done what I really wanted to do up to this point….I have so much more left to do….and I have received so many more gifts as a result of following my heart. That helps me now that it is time for Brett and Alexis to begin their paths of who they are….and I want them to be everything God created them to be, I want them to follow their passion and live life to the fullest….and I can trust God that He will be there for them everywhere and in everything….I have to.
I’m feeling really good. The plan was to go 21 days, then vegan for another 19…but I’m happy raw…and it’s January in Michigan! The cleansing group that I have been privileged to lead is doing so well, pounds have been dropping, but the best part is that people are feeling so good and are wanting to continue eating this way….they’re doing cooked and raw. Eric gave up his coffee again and could have had it back as of yesterday but chose not to : ) He looks good…his skin has a plumpness and glow to it that it didn’t before. Others have given up coffee too and you can see it in their faces. Alexis has been doing this with us from the beginning of the year and is still with it too…she completed her 21 days and took her real milk back and had a little chicken…but nothing processed…she likes how she feels too. One of the best parts with her was an answer to a prayer, actually two. She has been undecided on what direction to go in for college….major and school….about 2 weeks ago she was panicking about it, I asked her if she had been saying her prayers and did Reiki….no kidding, within 30 minutes she came running down the stairs all excited because she found a major that incorporated everything that she wanted to do and one of the schools that she was already accepted by had a top program in that area, she has been strong on that ever since. We haven’t actually visited this college yet because it’s 9 hours away : O….but she has read everything about it and has done every virtual tour available…. now instead of going somewhere warm and sunny for spring break, we will be going deeper into the heart of winter….another : O…but she loves snow.
It’s so heartwarming and motivating to see how cleansing with prayer and purpose impacts people. Someone following the blog, (Tif : ) even decided to give it a try.
It’s still 2 days away, but I wanted to make sure and wish you a very happy, healthy and abstinent Thanksgiving. Remember, food wise, it’s just another day….and you won’t have to feel stuffed and guilty. Food is not a recreation and we don’t need it to bond with people, or hide from them, have your favorite abstinent foods, teas, soda’s and gum if you would like. You are worth taking care of!
I’m reading “A Course In Miracles” right now. I bought it over 15 years ago and didn’t click with it. A study guide came past me a few weeks ago that intrigued me enough to pick it up again, now I look forward to my reading time with it every morning. It’s coming at a perfect time too, I need to start envisioning what I want next, (Alexis is graduating high school and going to college), and this book is jiving with me on doing that in such a productive way. It is also reminding me that there is only love and fear, everything is leaning in the direction of either one of those and if I’m in fear, I just need to ask for clear thinking…I’m making it sound really simple, and in a way, it is….at this point in my life anyway because I am open and ready for what it has to say.
There is anther book that just came out, “How We Did It”, by Nancy Kennedy, it’s about how people have lost weight and kept it off, there are many different stories and backgrounds, I am one of them : )
Just in case you are wondering, I am still free from Pepsi Max : )
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving full of love and light! I love you and I’m so glad that you are on this path with me!!!
HI! I have gone to blog so many times in the past couple of months, but just didn’t. Life is very interesting right now, very enlightening. I do believe too that I have finally had my last run about with Pepsi Max. The root of the addiction was shown to me and I was able to release it and let it go. Addiction after all is the consumption of something that we know is harmful to us yet makes us feel better when we succumb to it. It has been a little over a month since my revelation. This time I quit because there is a raw food retreat center that I would like to go and volunteer at to learn more about the lifestyle, needless to say, they don’t drink Pepsi Max and I wouldn’t be of much use if I was detoxing from it while they were expecting me to help, so I thought I would give it another try…short term of course. The next dayI was at a meeting with people that I always feel good and comfortable with….without the Pepsi Max….a huge feeling of fear and insecurity overwhelmed me and I couldn’t wait to get home….where of course I had some Pepsi Max waiting for me….I knew drinking it would make the feeling go away and replace it with joy, energy and the ability to concur the rest of the day. I had a glimpse in the past that I was running from a fear and hiding in the super charged security of the sweet, black nectar, but it still didn’t seem that easy….and even for me, it felt weird, weak…..after all I am Super Sandee…..totally confident and capable : ) Who wants to feel weak and insecure? This time, I stopped and asked God what was wrong, what was I so afraid of? Then I waited…in fear and really wanting to get rid of this feeling at any cost…..including succumbing to this controlling addiction yet again for the temporary and immediate relief that I knew it would give me. I also asked God to remove the desire if He wanted me to go without it. I got a clear message/awakening/enlightenment….whatever you want to call it. I was terrified that the people that I cared for would “find out” that they didn’t like me anymore and would abandon me. They would “find out” that I was really worthless and insignificant. There was an event that had happened during that time…not a really big one….just a remnant of other pains in the past that had come up again and my conscious mind quickly sloughed it off, filed it away and proceeded. It was how I had learned to process pain in the past, it was the more mature, dignified way to handle it. Similar things had happened and I had a deep fear that it would happen again….but as long as I stayed caught up in the unawareness and super speed of the Pepsi Max….it wouldn’t catch up to me or my consciousness. I asked God to heal that in me….and He did. I haven’t had the desire for it since. I also have a security and feeling of worthiness that is real that I didn’t have before. I find it so interesting that something like that can rule us to the extent it does….our minds, bodies and emotions do what ever they can to protect us….and for that I have love and appreciation….now I have more patience and understanding to ask what really is the matter….and the security of knowing that as long as I have God, it will be just fine. Every addiction I have had has been a “tool”….it may not have been the best tool, but I knew how to use it. It makes more appreciate all the more when I get the correct tool for the job : )
I have so much more to share with you from the past couple of months, and I will, but not today. Life is so good, I’m in such a good space.
Lots of Love and Light to you!
….and I feel good. I think that the phenylalanine is what I needed. I am still having caffeine in the form of iced tea and the zip fizz….but one thing at a time….it seems that when I just focus on releasing one thing at a time gently, it tends to stay released.
As usual when I give up a crutch, a defect or fear that I’ve been trying to hide from myself shows up….not consciously, but there….and I have received yet another gift. It makes me wonder if God is ever going to get finished cleaning me up : ) This was a gift through Al-anon. It was a way that I responded in fear trying to keep things under control just based on a tone of voice, fear of a situation, or the possibility of a situation. It got played out recently, but it’s so irrelevant to my life now and was negatively impacting my relationship with someone very important to me….I’m so grateful that this was shown to me and released.
There have been quite a few times now where I have had to completely surrender to God….it’s always been after tremendous struggle from trying to do things on my own first. Now there is just a quiet discontent, a slight disconnect….a longing for that closeness and enveloping security, freedom and joy that comes from this type of surrender…..and I want that feeling. I’ve been praying for God to show me the avenue to get that closeness and security again….there’s nothing bad happening….I just feel the drift and want to close the gap. It feels like raw food is the way to go, and I did it today, I’m going to do it again tomorrow, I’m not sure how long, but I will know when it’s up. Something feels ready to happen….something really good….I want all blockages removed, anything and everything that stands in between God and me. Oprah said on her last show that she just asked God to let her be of service and not cause any harm….and wow, look what He did through her! I would love to be of service and not cause harm….I know that when I’m in God’s will, I’m full of joy….so that is where I want to be, always.
Yesterday was a week! I’ve done that before and not felt good, and other times I have felt fine….so it’s not really a big deal at this point. What is a big deal though is this….almost all of the problems that I listed last week that have been going on for quite a while are really faded or gone.
I haven’t needed a nap all week….I took one on Sunday just because it was gloomy and I wanted to lay down and watch some tv….but other than that, I’ve been fine and more productive than I have been in a while. My energy is balanced throughout the day….I am still drinking caffeine though in the form of iced tea, (Lipton mixed with Green lemon and ginseng), green tea and zip fizz….so I’m not perfect….one thing at a time : ) I will say though that I’m not having as much as I did at the beginning of last week and I only have one green tea a day….I really think that it was the Phenylalanine that my body wanted….and I am taking that.
My heart burn is gone, I’m a lot less sore, my mood is good, I’m not getting really hungry until it’s time to eat….but I want to eat when it’s time. The muscle and joint pain are just about gone. This is amazing….my knee and hip, like I said, have been out for several weeks and it was really affecting my workouts, yoga and walking. Saturday when I was doing a yoga/Pilates thing I do, I couldn’t get into a yoga position, then when I was doing Pilates it really got stuck and hurt. I asked God to fix it…I pulled my knee a little then rocked my leg in my hip socket a couple of times and heard a pop and it hasn’t hurt since….I can bend completely at the knee again….there’s a little “remembrance” of the pain….but it’s so slight, I expect it to be gone in no time….this has only been a week : ) I get shown time and time again what a poison it is in my body, yet, I have gone back over and over. Taking the phenylalanine has also helped because I’m afraid of taking too much….so that has kept me away from all of the diet soda pop. I still have a few of the complaints that I had last week….but I am very hopeful from this week.
I got my blood re-tested for the lipoprotein a and it went down….only 5 points since January it was at 49 now it’s at 44, ideally it should be under 30….and it will be….but for now I’ll be happy that it’s moving in the right direction….I know that I wrote in here before that I believed that the aspartame could be contributing to it and I will get the blood test again in November….so I can put that theory to the test.