Hey, it’s been a while….where’ve ya been? : ) I’ve been having a blast without much extra time. Alexis is home. We joined a new church…..one that we seem to fit so well with it’s amazing……it’s the one where we went to do the fast…..that’s how God got us there, now we don’t want to leave : ) I did end up doing another one in April as well, (fast). Monday, (and this is only Tuesday), I decided to juice and do smoothies for the week, I wanted to ask God for help with some things and use it to control my weight as well. Last night I was reading a book, (part of a homework assignment for a class I’m taking at church on the Holy Spirit….it’s way cool), and read, “Fasting does not change God, it changes me”. The man who wrote it was talking about going on a hay day with his eating then going down to 1 meal a day when he was really busy and being, “spiritual”, but that made him weak and tired. God told him, “fasting doesn’t change me….I’m the same no matter what….it changes you….so why not just live a fasted life”? “Keep your flesh under all the time”. That really stuck out to me and I wrote it down. Even though I know this, I seem to forget. I use fasting as a bargaining chip……Dear Santa, (God), I would like……and I am going to fast in exchange for it….ha ha. He does give me most of what I want though….but it’s because fasting brings me back in alignment with Him…..and I think that what I want is really his nudge to me to get back on track.
This morning I went out to run a 5K….I did it several days ago….holy moly…..thanks to Alexis. A couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t/wouldn’t run 1/2 a block, but she got me to keep going for 2 miles with out stopping and I did it the next day and the next and thought I would just see how far I could go on Saturday morning….and wow….I actually made it the entire way! Soooooooo…….I went out to do that again this morning…..it’s a really good thinking time too…..although, I ended up walking quite a bit of it……I did that because it seemed as though God were having a real good talking to with me…..and I wanted to listen. Being the obsessive/compulsive person that I am….I keep trying new things….of course with the goal of just being able to get away with as much as I possibly can…..but I keep going around the same mountain, (regarding food). There are things that I know are good for my kids….that they would save them selves so much struggle if they would just listen to me….and they do for the most part….they are amazing kids…..but there’s always that one thing that we all need to just “make” work on our own that we really don’t have the control over that we think we do……watching someone else struggle with something that you just know the easier way is really to just let go of it can be as big of a struggle as the person struggling…..especially someone that you love…..but we all have free will. I felt like God was being the parent and reminding me that the easier way really is to let go…..relinquishing control is not something that I do well…..but God has always….every single time…..proven to be right…..and I’m so much better off when I listen….yet, I always think that I can come up with a better plan. Living a fasted life is safe, freeing, enjoyable and takes me to heights that I’m only able to obtain through obedience….it’s really quite a good deal.
I’m still on this journey with you….are you still with me?
Wow, I cant believe that this is my first post of the year. I am happy though that January is almost over….now just a couple of months until spring : ) Eric and I did the fast starting 1/1…he’s done, I just started a cleansing class so I’m doing it with them too….and was planning on going through to the 9th anyway. Today is day 3 of my juicing…I did feel a little run down yesterday but my day 2’s are usually the worst….and it wasn’t that bad. Once I remembered, I just took it easy. Today I feel a lift….still a little on the quiet side, but definitely a lift….and I have been feeling kind of stuck in a few area’s. Spiritually, I’m just amazed at what is happening….it seems to be so much more powerful when Eric does this with me and we are taking a class together that is just…wow! It’s like someone turned up the light….thank you to whoever did that : ) I will share more with you later….until then….have a super blessed, totally awesome, wonderful 2013 full of love and joy!!!
I am! You know I just love the New Years resolutions : ) I am convinced now more than ever….that at least for me….I need to follow the “rules”. I need to write down my food for the next day, commit that to someone who will hold me accountable…follow that plan and not try to manipulate it. I have been successfully eating this way since 2/2005, no calorie counting, sometimes some obsession with food…because I am obsessive/compulsive : )….and a freedom and security that only comes with this kind of surrender. I have been wrestling with that surrender for several months….doing “research” I have heard it called….research is good. I have a program that allows me to see all of the nutritional value of every thing I eat along with how much more I can have if I do certain exercises. Although it is pretty cool, I have been focusing on that more than just following the same successful guidelines that worked so well for me before….I want total control….and of course, I want more….and it has made me a little crazy along with being in bondage to this system. My weight is actually up 5 lbs from this total control. I read this morning that, “We have found through much experience that no matter how long we abstain from eating compulsively, and no matter how adept we become at facing life’s problems, we will always have these abnormal tendencies with food”. I can see that. I am a nutrition consultant, I believe that that somehow gives me a special insight as to not following the rules of having an eating disorder that it won’t impact me any more, especially eating as healthy as I do….but that is part of the thinking that goes with the disorder….I need to remember that I have this tendency and that it can take over if I stop doing what I know I need to do….I am not exempt for any reason. It’s funny, I was asking God what to do next, the raw food diet, the food combining diet….the answer I got was that He showed me what was right for me 8 years ago….it hasn’t changed….I can do raw or food combining within those guidelines….but those are still very much the same…..and they work as well today as they did 8 years ago….and even though it’s just for today…which I have a tendency to forget….it is highly likely that these will still be my guidelines tomorrow as well….but I will worry about that tomorrow….no, not worry, surrender.
I’m starting January 1 with the Daniel Fast. Eric and I are doing it together with the church that we went to 8 years ago, I feel very excited about it and ready for an amazing 2013.
Hi! It’s been a while. Both kids have gone to their colleges….I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it….but it’s really okay. I love this “google face time”. We can see them when we talk to them, we can see things that they are seeing, it’s very cool.
Brett had an interesting time going out to California. He decided to go on “tour”….he went to Chicago first to visit a friend then flew to N.Y. to visit some other friends for a few days….he organized it like lay overs….when he was going from N.Y. to San Fransisco the flight was over booked, he volunteered to take the next flight. In return they gave him a voucher for more than he spent on the ticket, let him hang out in the frequent flyers club enjoying the free snacks, drinks, comfy chairs, WiFi and separate bathrooms and when he got on his flight, they took him to 1st class and treated him like a king….not a bad deal at all : )
A couple of weeks before Brett left, we all took Alexis to her school and got her settled as snug as a bug before we left. She loves her school and her major…..and God knew what he was doing when he set her up with her room mate….they get along like 2 peas in a pod….and that’s pretty much the size of their room…..they did deck it out princess style though with floating lights, canopy’s and happy decorations. I feel good about both kids….it took a while though….and I’m so grateful for the regular contact!
We are now on our 4th and final cleanse of the year. As I am writing this I am on day 3 in the evening…..and really looking forward to food again tomorrow….but I feel good. I even treated myself to a facial at dinner time and didn’t miss the food at all : ) This is also my second gall bladder cleanse and I’m excited to see what that produces in the morning. I did the first one about a month ago and saw approximately one cup of “stones” in the bottom of the toilet. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the liver holds anger and the gall bladder the ability to move forward….I want that all out of me thank you very much….as well as the physical benefits.
If you have done the gall bladder/liver cleanse, please post your experience here and how you did it….there are quite a few ways of doing it.
Alexis works at a movie theater and treated the family to a movie the other night. I don’t like violent or loud movies but wanted to spend some family time with them and thought that this may be alright….the description sounded interesting….well, it is violent and loud….and dreary….I did find it interesting though. Don’t read any more if you want to watch it and haven’t yet….wait until you see it : ) He started out by having nightmares and visions of someone he was losing, then he woke up with his “loving wife”. He worked on an assembly line and was passed up for a promotion and made the comment that he would never get off the line. Out of his boredom, but against the advise of someone close to him, (who later turned out to be a hidden enemy)….but prompted by someone he worked with, he went to this “total recall” place where he could buy memories….a thrilling escape from reality….where you could be anyone you want, do anything you want….you get the picture….the only catch was that it couldn’t have any connection or reality to the person receiving the “memory”. When the character went under it was discovered that he did identify with being a spy….his fantasy….but unknown to him….his reality. It continues to unfold as he discovers talents and abilities he possesses that he wasn’t aware of….he has allies that he wasn’t aware of…..and enemy’s that were in the form of a close friend and his wife….both placed in his life to defeat him…..or perhaps to bring out his strengths. I think that sometimes we are thrown into situations that strengthen us, show us what we are made of…..without the conflict we wouldn’t know what was in us to bring about a new harmony. What if that is what life really is? An uncovering, a treasure hunt of what is within. I have heard for years that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, that we have lessons set up in our lifetime to evolve our souls….to balance karmic debt….to grow. How fascinating that we may be here to uncover the truth, that we are so much more than we realize….just step out into your fantasy and watch it evolve….see who you are, what you are capable of. Who would you be if you let go of the insecurities? Of the unconscious bondage’s of what you think that you can’t do, have, be? Maybe you don’t have to let go of them first….maybe they come off as you move forward…..weather you choose to or not.
When Michelangelo finished sculpting the David, many people asked him how he created this masterful work of art. His response: “It’s simple. I took away everything that wasn’t the David.”
Our lives can be our masterpieces if we can learn to chisel away at the thoughts and choices that don’t contribute to our sense of authenticity and balance.
What is in your life that isn’t you? Let it go. You are a magnificent, beautiful masterpiece, period.
My sponsor called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me some shocking news….after 11 years in the 12 step group we were in for our eating disorder she needed to leave for her health. The structure was too confining for how she now needed to take care of herself…..it’s perfectly understandable. At that moment, I had a decision to make….get another sponsor or try it on my own. It didn’t take much thought. I have been very into the raw food lifestyle for several years now and that with my food plan worked somewhat well together but it was still pretty rigid and restrictive….which is what I needed 7 years ago and for the years following….I had gotten so far off….well….never truly on….a healthy living plan. The first couple of days were odd…exciting but scary. I ate my fruit between meals….it’s better to eat fruit alone on an empty stomach anyway….I ate 1/2 of an avocado on my salad…..I ate vegan chili without measuring every ingredient….I ate some raw oatmeal cookies…..I’ve been living like a normal….no, not normal….but healthy person. Sugar and flour are no doubt not things I want to go back to…or other harmful substances like pork or aspartame….I’m doing a cleanse right now so everything is vegan…..and I feel amazing! My energy level is great, my mood….there are no going to the bathroom problems….everything is working better than it ever has….I feel so free! What is really interesting to me is that I found this program after going on a Daniel Fast…which is what the cleanse is too….and I’m exiting it on one as well….it’s like God is leading me out. I really needed the intense structure to get on the right track….and I will definitely go back if I need to….but life is changing, Brett is moving to California, Alexis is going to school 9 1/2 hours from here….Eric and I are going to travel and we are on the next phase of our lives….I don’t want to be strapped to the food plan….but I do want to stay abstinent, healthy and at my ideal weight…..so far so good….I’m putting it….just like everything else….in God’s hands….and it always works out better than I imagined and in just the right way, form and timing.
I’m feeling really good. The plan was to go 21 days, then vegan for another 19…but I’m happy raw…and it’s January in Michigan! The cleansing group that I have been privileged to lead is doing so well, pounds have been dropping, but the best part is that people are feeling so good and are wanting to continue eating this way….they’re doing cooked and raw. Eric gave up his coffee again and could have had it back as of yesterday but chose not to : ) He looks good…his skin has a plumpness and glow to it that it didn’t before. Others have given up coffee too and you can see it in their faces. Alexis has been doing this with us from the beginning of the year and is still with it too…she completed her 21 days and took her real milk back and had a little chicken…but nothing processed…she likes how she feels too. One of the best parts with her was an answer to a prayer, actually two. She has been undecided on what direction to go in for college….major and school….about 2 weeks ago she was panicking about it, I asked her if she had been saying her prayers and did Reiki….no kidding, within 30 minutes she came running down the stairs all excited because she found a major that incorporated everything that she wanted to do and one of the schools that she was already accepted by had a top program in that area, she has been strong on that ever since. We haven’t actually visited this college yet because it’s 9 hours away : O….but she has read everything about it and has done every virtual tour available…. now instead of going somewhere warm and sunny for spring break, we will be going deeper into the heart of winter….another : O…but she loves snow.
It’s so heartwarming and motivating to see how cleansing with prayer and purpose impacts people. Someone following the blog, (Tif : ) even decided to give it a try.