Be still and know that I am God, Psalm 46:10 was a strong message to me yesterday and today. We are now on our final cleanse of the year and honestly, I was feeling a little less motivated for this one than I did earlier in the year….wondering if I did too many to really reap the spiritual “rewards” because I wasn’t keeping it as sacred. When I got out of the shower yesterday morning, the list of my “prayers” from the summer fast were on the counter. I’m not quite sure how they got out there….it isn’t huge crazy thing because I keep prayer papers behind my clock there and it didn’t have far to slip out….but it did somehow. I read over the list….which was kind of like a list of chores really…..and felt a little indigent because none of them happened. I thought, “what’s up God, I did what I was supposed to….why didn’t you fulfill this list of demands here?” ha ha. Then I started to realize that I had it a little off….although I do pray for what ever I pray for “or better in the highest good of all concerned”….I was missing the mark a bit. The way that I have been doing this since 2005 is to list what I want help with then do the fasting and prayer….so many times what I have asked for or better comes either during or after….and it just clicks into place. So that led me to believe that my “works” of fasting, (Daniel fasting), while praying was “earning” me my desires….not so…although God does….and quite often….thanks God!….fulfill my needs and many desires. What I believe that I had mixed up was the process and the actual intent of that process. As I learned in “Experiencing God”, God will place a desire in our hearts, then we need his direction, guidance and grace to fulfill that desire. By fasting and praying I am removing the obstacles that are in my control….so that I can hear God, surrender to God and let Him show me what I need and what I want. It really does work so much better that way because He can see what I can’t even dream about because I’m not aware of it….I’ve been shown that so many times…..but I needed to be shown that again : )
This morning has been a beautiful, wonderful, magical awakening. I’ve been shown obstacles, misunderstandings and blockages that have impacted my beliefs…they are things that I haven’t been able to change on my own….and can’t change on my own….I need God to do it….I need(ed) to ask Him to do it….and I did. I said the prayers with Eric, it was quite powerful. I am also very aware of the things that He has already done in my life that I could never have done on my own. The safety, love and trust I feel right now is….I don’t want to say intoxicating because that is a negative word….but it’s an all encompassing, blissful pleasure that I don’t have a word to describe.
Be still and know that I am God reminds me that I just need to relax and spend time with Him so that I can hear Him….that is where I get my direction, I don’t have to work on it, I have to allow it, trust it, follow it…..that is swimming with the current rather than against it. Also, “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you“. Can it really be that easy? Yes! But it’s not easy to trust that and fall into the flow….that is the hard part….that is the part of surrender….that is what I was reminded to do. Life is so much better than I ever imagined that it could be….and that’s God’s doing….not mine. I know that I can gratefully trust Him with the rest.