My life has been crazy busy

Hello, did you wonder what happened to me?  I’m still abstinent….but in a more liberating and freeing way.  Over the past couple of months Brett graduated college, moved, went crazy figuring out which grad school to go to….major intensity there, but now he has made his decision and is happy about it….we are too.  Alexis had lots of lacrosse games, banquets, then graduation, followed by open houses, and her open house, we still have more to go to, but we are done on our end….now we just show up with a card….I can totally do that!  So, now back to normal…what ever that is.

So, since I left cea how. I have been on an adventure….a wild, crazy, freeing, sometimes scary adventure.  I tried free eating and that freaked me out…although it was fun at first. Then I went to OA, but it was too close to Cea HOW without being the whole package….I need a plan.  I heard about the new Weight Watchers plan of free eating within certain foods….dates were on that list, so I was in.  I fell totally, madly, head over heals in love with dates.  I would dream about them constantly, the seduction was intense, I just had to have them, I would buy a  2 lb package eating to my hearts content and get almost drunk with the euphoria I found in them, but it would be followed by feelings of guilt, fear and lack of control.  My weight was staying the same though…at the high end of my range, but within. 

One of the raw food sites that I subscribe to was suggesting an OA Raw meeting, that sounded good….although I wasn’t sure that I wanted to commit to 100% raw all the time, I’ve done it for stretches but I just don’t want to be in bondage with food in any way any more….however, I was intrigued.  I found a buddy who did a similar plan to cea how….and we get along quite well….it’s interesting how much we have in common….from what we know so far.  One of the plans that people were talking about on the raw food OA site was 80-10-10, (80% fruit, 10% fat and 10 % protein….in the form of greens).  I read the book in about 3 days….this was while I was frantically trying to keep up with Alexis’s crazy events and plan the perfect graduation party for her….have I mentioned that I can be compulsive and obsessive?  : )  I found a lot of the information to be interesting and intriguing….so much so that I wanted to try it in the midst of everything that I was trying to accomplish.  I indulged in entire pineapples, 5 bananas at a time, a whole watermelon throughout the day….up to 20 dates at a time… those dates : )  I also had romaine, spring mix, celery and other greens with a little fat…I did this for almost a week….my weight went a bit over the top….okay….we’ve gone too far now!  I found a site through that keeps track of my calories as well as how much fat, protein, vitamins, minerals, etc, (, it’s European though so the measurements are metric….no problem.   I figured out how many I ate on the cea how weight loss, how much I was eating through maintenance and compared that to what I was now eating….yes, the calories do still matter….but I believe that going through all of the routes brought me to a safe, comfortable happy place with my food.  I have been sticking to 1600 calories to lose 1/2 lb a week but eat the extra that I earn from exercise….it has definitely motivated me to work out, walk or do yoga….I try to balance them all.  I’m not committing my food before I eat it…but it seems to be working for me.  I would also say that I am about 90 +% raw…but I’m going for over all health rather than trying to fit into a mold.  The 80-10-10 has really liberated me in the fruit department….I never would have eaten 2-3 oranges or an entire pineapple…or watermelon before….and before cea how, I never would have eaten the amount of veggies that I do now….it’s so funny, I would be so diligent with those foods for a day or two then splurge….usually on nachos, pizza, ice cream or something like that.  My husband was even like, “wow! you ate 5 bananas!?!…..I’ve always wanted to do that : )  He also thinks nothing of eating a couple of pieces of pizza or 1/2 a bag of chips….but holy moly, to indulge in fruit…what a concept….I feel so liberated….and grateful.  I believe that we are meant to eat and live in abundance and fully enjoy it….God put these amazing foods here for us….but he didn’t make pizza.  It’s so much fun to find the secret…well, it isn’t a secret, we have just perverted it to a point of non recognition.  I’m still at the high end of my weight range which is why I’m eating at the 1/2lb weight loss range….and I am very satisfied and free….I’ll just add more food when my weight goes back down…or not….as long as I’m in the healthy range I’m fine.