I am feeling so full of gratitude and had to write again. This is my 6th Thanksgiving being abstinent….it will be 7 years, God willing in February. It is also my 6th Thanksgiving wearing 4’s, 2’s and even a size 0 : ) What a blessing to not have to worry about fitting into my clothes, and to not be on the emotional roller coaster of the highs and lows that go with compulsive eating….especially the lows! That is not the biggest blessing though. The biggest blessings keep coming, the spiritual awakenings….and I missed out on this when I was into the food because the food helped me to hide in my insecurities, try to be someone I wasn’t, I tried to live up to the expectations others had of me….or what I thought they had of me….and it made me absolutely crazy, I’m sure it was not picnic for the people around me either. This year was the most quiet Thanksgiving we have ever had, not the story book postcard holiday we have had in the past…yet, did we really even have them? There are definitely warm memories, and people that can never be replaced, but what I have have now is beyond the fairy tale….a friend of mine and I were recently discussing how Disney really did a number on us with the “happily ever after” stories….what I have is real, solid, and more valuable than gold. I have a husband of 23 years that loves me, we’ve been blending and merging for years, it’s been painful at times, but I think that we are more in the happily ever after than we ever were…and we never were…because, that’s not real : ) I have 2 of the most awesome children that I love dearly and they love me, their dad and each other. We are all healthy, intelligent, good people who are making a positive difference. We have overcome so much and have great things to look forward to. I find it so fascinating to find underlying drives and forces, they usually don’t feel good, and when they are exposed or removed….what an AWESOME feeling…I had one of those moments today. The more I live like this, the more that gets revealed, the more grateful I am and the more love, acceptance and freedom I feel. This is something I can’t do alone, and I don’t want to do alone. I am so grateful to God and everyone of you who are on this path with me….even if we aren’t on exactly the same path….we need each other and I am so grateful for you. Life just keeps getting better and better and better. Lots of Love and Blessings to you!
It’s still 2 days away, but I wanted to make sure and wish you a very happy, healthy and abstinent Thanksgiving. Remember, food wise, it’s just another day….and you won’t have to feel stuffed and guilty. Food is not a recreation and we don’t need it to bond with people, or hide from them, have your favorite abstinent foods, teas, soda’s and gum if you would like. You are worth taking care of!
I’m reading “A Course In Miracles” right now. I bought it over 15 years ago and didn’t click with it. A study guide came past me a few weeks ago that intrigued me enough to pick it up again, now I look forward to my reading time with it every morning. It’s coming at a perfect time too, I need to start envisioning what I want next, (Alexis is graduating high school and going to college), and this book is jiving with me on doing that in such a productive way. It is also reminding me that there is only love and fear, everything is leaning in the direction of either one of those and if I’m in fear, I just need to ask for clear thinking…I’m making it sound really simple, and in a way, it is….at this point in my life anyway because I am open and ready for what it has to say.
There is anther book that just came out, “How We Did It”, by Nancy Kennedy, it’s about how people have lost weight and kept it off, there are many different stories and backgrounds, I am one of them : )
Just in case you are wondering, I am still free from Pepsi Max : )
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving full of love and light! I love you and I’m so glad that you are on this path with me!!!