I just spent a wonderful weekend at the Lindenwood Retreat Center, (lindenwood.org), in Indiana. I had no expectations, I brought some books and just went with the flow. The retreat theme was on giving our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him, it didn’t matter what if any religious background you came from, and asking for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. I was happily surprised at how deeply I felt God. I feel like yet another chunk has been removed and in it’s place there is light, and a very serene sense of peace and trust.
My life is in a tradition phase with both kids graduating to a new level….I’m so excited for both of them. For the past 21 years, my life has been centered around them, and I am so grateful for that, so grateful. I never saw myself as a stay-at-home mom or wife before I did it….I think that it appealed to me, but I never would have admitted it….it just wasn’t cool or sophisticated. This is an area that I prayed and surrendered to God….and he came through! I trusted him, followed him, and the results are amazing! What’s funny is that even with that knowledge I somehow feel that I have to be in control of the future and all of the categories of my life, I have an idea of what is good for me, and I need to take care of business, but I don’t see the whole picture. I was reminded though, that God does. He is aware of my husband, my kids, my home, all of my many groups, activities and needs…..I also saw that I am a high maintenance girl : )….He knows what I am to contribute to the world next. When ever I let go…..and sometimes I really have an iron grip on things….He makes it turn out so well….it all flows, nothing is left out….nothing that is supposed to be there anyway….he will clean out clutter and debris……it all makes sense and is deeply satisfying. I have heard many times lately how our destiny isn’t some big, unfamiliar thing out there somewhere….it’s what we are already doing, what we already get joy from, we just need to do it more and do it better….I can do that.