I received this message verse from a friend this morning who is also doing the fast. I must admit, this has been one of the harder fasts for me, not food wise, but emotionally. I have felt a big dark cloud over me quite a bit of the time….I blame it on the winter blues, but I think that there was more. I also felt guilty for feeling this way since I’m leading a group and believe that I need to have it all together and perfected….ha! The purpose is to let go and draw closer to God….let Him in to do some spring cleaning….and you know what spring cleaning looks like….everything has to come out of the cupboards and closets to clean….all of the cupboards and closets….but it looks like a trashed mess during the process….if you are doing a thorough job. Even if you spring clean every year….clutter and dust still seems to build up during the year….no big deal….just clean it up….but I don’t want anyone to know that I have messy cupboards and closets….I only want them to see them after they have been cleaned….and most people only do see them clean. Someone even made reference to that last week, that she felt like she was being uncluttered and wondered how food could have such an impact. Eric is really noticing a difference too….this has been amazing to have him doing it with me this time….I feel like it will have an even bigger impact on our lives….it has made a major and positive impact on our marriage.
Every area has been reorganizing, resurfacing and restructuring….and it hasn’t felt very good….until now. The issues that have come up have been healed at a level so deep and so wide that it could only have been from God….and getting out of the way to let him in. One of the things I am fasting for is my purpose in life. Alexis will be graduating from high school next year and I have been freaking out about what I’m going to do….yet I don’t want to waste what time I have left with her at this stage….it’s not replaceable….as you have witnessed a bit from my blog : ) I’m 20 days into my fast right now….and the cogs are going into place. I’m seeing glimpses of where I will be….and it’s wonderful, sunny and very fulfilling…..actually I have been seeing it for years but I just wonder sometimes if my dreams may be too big, too much of a pipe dream. I don’t know how I’m going to get there from here….and I don’t need to know….God has been showing me all morning how He has taken me from glory to glory my entire life….none of seemed possible when He first showed me the visions….none of them…..and there have been many…..and they have been big….everything that I have been shown since I was a child about where I would be, my “fantasies and day dreams”, have all come true! What seemed like a fantasy and different realm of existence became comfortable and normal. I was going to go into detail….but this blog would be way too long…..the message is that this will be no different, my passion for life has been renewed : )
God is no respecter of persons, what He does for one, He will do for the other. What is He trying to show you? Are you letting go? Are you letting Him spring clean….or are you too afraid to open the closet? Don’t be afraid….it will feel so wonderful to have it cleaned out!