Raw Food Festival

I went to a raw food festival here in Michigan! Wow, you see things like that in Brighton in the UK or California…..but not usually in Brighton Mi : ) It was an interesting experience. I saw Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes Monarch in real life and talked to them. They are like modern day hippies, they’re very cute and it was cool to meet them. I saw many other people too….I expected to see a bunch of totally healthy, beautiful and vibrant people with incredible health. I saw many kinds of people, some were like that…but very few with the description that I just said….the Monarch’s did exhume radiance and heath….she is one of us if you read her story….or similar. I’ve always kept in the back of my mind since learning about raw foods that if I ever quit the recovery program that I’m in for compulsive eating, I would just be a raw foodist and eat what ever, when ever and as much as I wanted. I see the value in moderation, knowing the limits, and balance….left to my own devices….I will not do that. Raw and living foods are very important to vibrant health though….very important…..so is cutting out the processed foods and refined sugars. The inner hippie in me loves that world though, I couldn’t really live it, but I have such a fascination for it and there is so much that I can incorporate into my own life. I bought the movie, “Super Charge Me” and watched it when I got home…loved it! The next day on Netflix I watched “The Gerson Miracle”. They are both amazing and inspiring movies.

I have been dreaming of a healing center for quite a few years now. A place where people can go to learn and heal. I just don’t know how it’s going to come about. I had a dream about a baby last night, a beautiful baby that I loved. It’s diaper was overloaded, then I left it on the bed to fall off flat on it’s face. I wanted to take good care of it, but I just didn’t know how…there wasn’t a bath available….I have no idea why I left it on the bed but did feel horrible when it fell off. When I woke up, I felt like the baby was “Happy 2 Be Me”. I love it, it’s beautiful, but I’m not taking care of it properly…and it’s a creation of Eric’s and mine. When Brett and Alexis were growing up I asked God constantly for help to make sure that I did what was best for them….and he came through big time! They have both turned out so much better than anything that I could have dreamed of….and I sure didn’t have the natural skills to provide this….God constantly revealed to me what to do, where to go, what to correct, etc. I feel like a very successful parent….but it’s God that did it through me….and I get to enjoy the amazing rewards. (Eric too of course….this has just been my reason for living….my “job” and responsibility…and again, I feel very privileged have been able to do it. So I asked God if he would show me what to do with this. I feel like there is so much that can be done to bring this into fruition….I just don’t know how to do it….I can see it, feel it and love it…it’s amazing and I want so much to live it.

I left real estate last week….I made a mistake. I felt that God had sent me there….and maybe he did….but it wasn’t to sell real estate….I kind of suck at it and the longer I was in it and not producing, the more I would feel bad about myself. I thought that I would sell the homes in my large neighborhood, go around balancing the energy in homes and all would be well….people would love me and I would receive big pay checks : ) Well, it didn’t work out that way. It’s a really hard job. The people who do this deserve love and respect…especially the good ones…it’s a lot of work, you’re always on call….it’s always on your mind….for me, even though I wasn’t doing that much, the stress and rejection was more than I bargained for….not what I had planned. So, the next time you work with a realtor just remember….they are really putting themselves out there….it’s a very personal job and they earn every penny, if not more than they are making….it’s not “easy money”. We should have, “give a realtor a hug day”.

I learned a statement many years ago, “Do what you love and and the money will come.” I told this to Brett a lot while he was looking at the pay scales of jobs in order to pick a major….he wants to be very wealthy….and he will. He is totally enjoying his path….I’ve never known anyone to love learning just for the sake of knowledge as much as he does…he loves school so much and is “living the life”….he’s thinking of becoming a professor….and would be fantastic in that role. Alexis, I have to remind myself of this….right now she is fascinated with being a missionary….but she appreciates the comforts of the way we live….we’re not rich…yet….but we live well….thanks God!!! She has reminded me of it because I get worried about how she will live going down that path….but it’s not my path to pick….that’s between her and God….and I could not be more happy about the person she is. I’ve never seen a kid with such passion and faith in God….it’s the center of her life and her enthusiasm is contagious. I believe that both kids are on the right path by the way they see things. We have a picture at the top of our stairs that says, “Faith is taking the next step, even though you can’t see the entire stair case”. Even when I have taken a “wrong” step, I ask God what to do and he sets it right.

Thirteen years ago, I went back to work as a loan originator. I loved the job, the people that I worked with, wearing pretty clothes, going out to lunch….and knowing that I was capable of such a cool thing. It happened very easy, I breezed through 3 interviews, a 2 hour test, got into the “boys club” as Eric called it and was just clicking and grooving through everything….I was getting tons of loans coming in clumps….life was good. A couple of years into it….I realized that I desperately wanted to be home taking care of my family….but how could I leave this? My marriage was in trouble, my energy was nil, my kids were just getting rushed through everything, what was I going to do? That’s when my aunt died at 57. I was suddenly very aware that we don’t know how much time we really have….If I were to die tomorrow, would I have regrets….the answer was, YES!!!! My values came back into clarity, and it wasn’t “things” that I thought I wanted….although, this experience was very necessary and changed the entire course of my life for the better….and all of the money and things came anyway. There was a lot more appreciation for everything that I took care of at home….from Eric and me. I appreciated my kids so much more….I took time to nurture myself….before “working”, I didn’t feel that I deserved anything, that I wasn’t making a significant contribution….but the experience showed us all how valuable my role was. Now if I were to die tomorrow….would I have any regrets? I want to see my dream of Happy 2 Be Me come true, so I would “miss” that….but I can honestly say, NO….I have done well with what is important and I’m so grateful for my life….I have been blessed beyond what I ever dreamed possible….and it’s because I made God, my marriage and my kids # 1….we’ve struggled and grown….but we’ve grown….and have so much love and security within our family….nothing is more important than that. I followed my passion and am very fulfilled.

I do still think that God sent me back into real estate for a reason…and will make good of it….nothing seems to get wasted….nothing.

Daniel Fast

I would like to lead a Daniel Fast in January. My goal is to have a guide written by the end of October. I started writing it and realized that it would be a good idea to go on one while I was writing for the most fresh experience and insight I could have. I’ve also been up in the air with some things that I needed clarity on and this is a great way to stop, let go and get insight. The way I like to start it is with 3 days of juice and soy milk or hemp for protein…I’ve also discovered “nutritional yeast”…I’ll tell you about that later. I received one answer to my questions after the first day…and it was a big one. The second day I committed a slice of Ezekiel bread and 1/8 avocado with my juice for lunch and dinner, the 3rd, I had a vegan lunch…committed, and dinner again included the Ezekiel bread and avocado with the juice. On our way home from lunch, I was freaking out a bit in my head about the re-fried beans that I had, they served them with melted cheese on them, I scraped it off but was worrying that I may have eaten some and that I didn’t do total juice/liquid for the entire 3 days and that God was going to withhold or revoke his blessing on me….not a good feeling. The message came to me very calmly and lovingly that this fast was meant to bring me closer to him and that my being so legalistic about these details was doing the opposite….I was still loved.

I laid down to take a nap when we got home, that didn’t go so well….I was just thinking of how to get through the day and start over, I was sick of being such a goody goody and not having any fun…I wanted a state of mind change….so, what did I do? I went out to the garage and got a Pepsi Max and drank it down in about 5 minutes….then I got another one…..and I enjoyed the rest of my day, it did give me my state change and energy…..my rebellious side came out to play.

This morning waking up I was thinking about this and how could I lead a group if I couldn’t finish it perfectly myself. I thought about the Daniel fasts that I have done in the past, I don’t think that I ever completed one without caffeine, the first one I did, I didn’t even make it to the end….that was the one where I learned about my eating disorder by accidentally eating sugar. Every single one that I have done has given me an awakening, an inner knowledge and strength along the release of “baggage”….physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. For the past 18 years I have been learning to strive for “progress not perfection” and to live rigorously honest….and it works….it works in such an amazing way. I was also reminded that it’s God doing for me what I haven’t been able to do for myself….I’ve been able to abstain from alcohol, cigarettes, gum, sugar and flour because of his guidance, the meetings with other people with the same goals in mind and by taking it one step at a time. I thought about Joyce Meyer who has helped millions if not billions of people even while still continuing to learn and grow….she’ll talk about how she’ll mess up on the very thing that she’s talking about…and I get so much out of listening to her….way more than if she was someone perfect telling the rest of us how to do it….what she says is valuable because she’s learning and growing right in front of us. One of her sayings that I really like is, “I’m not where I need to be yet, but, thank God, I’m not where I used to be”. I can really identify with that statement….and keep moving forward….in my imperfect, learning, growing and still loved way….the biggest lesson is to keep moving forward and not stop because I made a mistake….that’s why I need God : )

Thank you God for another healing!!!

I went to the OB/GYN today for a follow up to an appointment that I had last winter. When I had my annual check up they found my uterus to be too large…it was 20 centimeters when it’s supposed to be 12 and I also had a cyst on my ovary. The doctor took a sample of the tissue and it was fine. She put me on Prometrium to thin the lining…I was terrified to take it with my family history of cancer and the progesterone can cause cancer….I took it though for about 10 days or so….I was supposed to for the entire 6 months….I started feeling side effects, (one of them though was to empty my uterus and it did that….I just didn’t need it for 6 months), and I don’t remember exactly what they were but I got on the web to find out what I could about this….and it is common to prescribe progesterone to thin the lining. I also found that a congested liver could cause cysts on the ovaries and enough information to come to the conclusion to do one…I started with a colon cleanse, then 2 liver cleanses, and finished with a parasite cleanse….actually 2 of those as well. There was a lot of praying involved and Reiki. Today my results were that the uterus lining is now 6.1 and the cyst is gone! She was very happy to give me my good news….and I was very happy to receive it. I hope I don’t sound anit-doctor….because I’m not…I totally believe in getting annual check ups, listening to their advise and following up….and we definitely need them…..but we really need to be aware of our own bodies, ask lots and lots of questions, pray and follow up on what we feel is right, or what God wants us to do….and still keep checking to see if we’re doing it right until it is right. This was the 3rd time that I was prescribed something serious that natural health healed….I would not have known what the problem was though or that it was healed without the doctors. I think that we need to team up with our doctors and take an active role in our health; both preventative and recovery. Both of my parents did what they wanted food, drink and lifestyle wise, both of them….especially my dad….avoided the doctors and doing what was suggested….I think because they knew that “stop smoking, stop drinking, eat better and exercise” would be top on the list and they didn’t what to do that….but they both followed at the end when it was too late but what was being suggested couldn’t compensate for all of the abuse they did to their bodies or the lack of listening when they needed to….and they didn’t have time at that point to look into it. It makes me sad to think about, but it won’t be in vain if we can learn from them or the people around us…this is serious business our health and not something that will go away if we ignore it….actually…it will go away if we ignore it.

Take care of you!!!!!

Still detoxing from the caffeine….I think

Since Aug 22 I have had one 20 bottle of diet coke….and shamefully, a 44 oz big gulp diet coke. The 20 oz bottle didn’t really effect me….it was about 5 days in….the 44 oz….whoa! That was last Saturday, my heart was racing, I was very excited and wide awake for about 3 hours or so….then my head ached and I was tired. I haven’t had any since. For the most part, my energy levels are better than they were before, I am still taking ginseng, 1 100 gram pill in the morning and one in the afternoon, I’ve also had one mid morning….no more than 3 or 4 a day….but usually 2. I’ve also been drinking “treasure tea”. I may have these products on the website, I haven’t had constipation this time and I think that it’s because of this tea…it’s detoxifying. One thing I’m not crazy about though is that I keep waking up around 3 in the morning and don’t get much quality sleep after that and my eyes hurt like they are over tired but wide awake. I don’t know if this is a detox symptom or from something else. I have never gone this long without any caffeine….I switched to green tea and yerba mate’ before….so I’m not sure what is going on. I have more mental clarity and less jumpiness….I wasn’t really aware of it until I stopped the caffeine….I would also worry more before than I am now. I think that this is a good thing….I would just like more clarity on the waking up early and how long until it will be to totally detox from it. Well, off to meditation I go : )