I’ve been doing mostly raw for a few weeks now….I’m not being totally fanatical about it and I’m eating most of the same things over and over….I seem to do that anyway though. Every time that I’ve done this it’s been profound in some way shape or form. Last week was huge. On Thursday a situation came up that brought out every fear and insecurity I have….it goes beyond logic….I’m talking terror. I can’t really go into detail because it involves someone else. What I can tell you though is that this fear….and actually it has been a functional fear up to this point because I have my own ways….automatic responses…..that make it that way….but later when I would be out of the fear…..I would be very resentful of the person for taking advantage of me….and for me allowing it…..and that is exactly what I did….I allowed it…..and they did it because it worked for them…..it got the results they were after…..but not really…..not in the long run…..not consciously….that’s how I/we stayed in the cycle….now that it’s conscious though….I/we have the authority to do it differently.
For several months I have been led to attune my astral body….this is a replica of your physical body, it holds all of your emotions, fears, senses…..the feeling things….and those of others too….most of us aren’t aware of it….we just react and do our best to function with what ever we’re carrying around with us. Still, I thought that because I meditated, prayed, ate right, talked out my stuff, etc….I was most certainly clean and aware. So I attuned this other person’s astral body….I did it out of love and compassion….but also to rid them of their automatic responses that were really messing with mine….it’s all done with the highest and best of the person….even if my motive was selfish….it’s done with God and all He is is love and nothing anyone can do can change that. Well, when I did it….I realized what a good thing it was to have this done and did do it on myself as well….like God told me to in the first place…..it surprises me where my ego will come in and mess me up sometimes….I was feeling like “all that” with my energy that I wouldn’t take the time to do this….and it was a really good thing. It was like turning on a light in a dark room….you can see what’s in there….what’s valuable, what’s garbage….and best of all…..where that horrible smell is coming from.
When I bought my first house my dad gave me the down payment….it was my grandma’s house. She had a deep freezer in the basement….I was 19 and didn’t prepare that far ahead by power shopping at that time….so my dad took the freezer in exchange for the down payment….yes, he was a nice dad : ) When he took it though, there was a chicken in there that he threw out in the basement garbage near the shower….I never used that garbage and never thought to empty it. After a week or so of it sitting there, it thawed then began to decay….and we never knew it was there….it was the most horrible, penetrating, disgusting smell that ever was, we smelled it very strongly by the shower, by the washer and dryer, up in the kitchen, in the bathroom, it permeated every room in the house. I bought air fresheners, I cleaned like crazy, opened windows….sometimes it would lighten a bit…but it was always there….we did our best to live with it because we couldn’t find it, but it was so frustrating. I don’t remember how we found the source….I may have told my dad of the smell over the phone and he remembered throwing it away….he lived over 300 miles away so he didn’t pop in too often….once we discovered it though, we got it right out…..it was so awful that I think I threw out the garbage can it was in as well. It still left a putrid stench in the air, but this time when we cleaned, aired out and air freshened….it stayed clean….because the source of the smell was gone.
This to me is a good example of the things that get stuck in our energy fields that we try to combat, control, deal with. Someone else may have put it there….and done it totally innocently….but it’s there and we need to find it and get it out. What was in my energy field was from very long ago, I didn’t know exactyl what it was or where it was from….I had an idea….but not good enough to find it and pull it out….just live with it and try to cover it up. I’m amazed with the things that just eating non congesting food does….but that’s not enough….that just allows it to the surface, it’s the prayer and meditation….then following up on what I’m led to do that pulls out the toxins…..but it gets completed….that’s the amazing part….and I’ve done this several times now.
I remember thinking that walking a spiritual path would be so boring, uneventful and drab….ha ha ha. I also see that the more I set my ego aside and allow God to guide….the more wonderful and magnificent things come into my life. I’m more free, joyful, satisfied and fulfilled than I ever thought was possible….in fact I did not think it was possible at all to feel like I do….and it’s all due to following God’s lead….I get so much further just relaxing into what He wants me to do than trying to figure it out and bust my butt to get to where I think I need to go….I have to trust Him though…..and I do now…..I know He’s there to catch me…..thank you God!!!!! I love you with everything that I have and everything that I am.