I’m starting week 3 without coffee and still amazed with what is happening. I feel much more normal this week than last….in fact my energy is pretty steady rather than way up then, boom….I need a nap….or more coffee….usually both : ) The physical problems that seemed to be healed last week are still healed and I’ve had several “ah ha” moments….better understanding of old patterns and a lot more even keeled emotionally….not that I’m totally out of control….but things hit that fight or flight reaction a lot more than I realized while I was drinking so much of it. It’s funny too….everytime I release something that has a grip on me, I can see where it was helping me to hide from something. I had a fear that I had been carrying around most of my life….and it effected my reactions to things, how I thought about myself, others, situations, what I did, I was very defensive in this area….and understandably so….but my need to defend and protect myself like I was is no longer relevant…or to the extent that my fear was ruling. It was something real in the past….but burried deep down….under the coffee….really…..the coffee reved me up and off I went….I was always running from this….but not aware that I was until last week….I was aware of the fear but it always seemed presant…not past….when it came up….or it would intensify something that was happening currently but all of my past energy would meet me here to keep me safe…if that makes sense. I can still feel it a little….but the intensity and impact seem to have vanished….when we shine the light on our fears that seem like huge ugly monsters, (or uncover their hiding place)….they usually turn out to be so much more manageable than we thought.
I’ve been eating about 80% raw and very little meat….I think that I eat meat once or twice a month and chicken about the same….I like to throw some salmon in at least once or twice too…but other than that, I stick to pretty much a vegetarian diet. Some friends brought over some beautiful home grown vegetables last week….eating food that you know was cared for with lots of love and attention gives you such a special and privelidged feeling eating it….it feeds more than just your body. I think that this way of eating also made it possible to let go of the coffee….and I did already say that I really didn’t want to….I asked God to give me the willingness…..and He totally gave it to me : )
This is quite an exciting path listening to what I feel that God is telling me and following it. He has taken me to places I never thought that I’d go, doing things that I never thought that I’d do and meeting people that I never knew that I would meet. Some things are what I dreamed and some are even better….the hard things have brought me to new levels that I wouldn’t have gone to without the push….so I try to just do what He says to begin with now : ) I get the message.
One more thing, I read a book called “Caffeine Blues” by Stephen Cherniske. This is a very good thing to read if you are wondering if coffee is causing you any problems….most of the ones that I had are explained in this book….and I don’t know about you, but I love to read everything I can get my hands on when I’m going through something that show the way through.
Have a great week….I’m so glad that you are part of my world!