We have Brett’s graduation party behind us now. It was very nice, the weather held up well and so many people came to celebrate with us, it was very touching.
I’m still raw and loving it. My weight went down a bit for a couple of weeks to 125.5…my goal is 130 so that’s too low, but I got to add a bunch of food…tomorrow is my weigh date so we’ll see how it goes. I am really amazed with how this way of eating has effected me. Of course it has pulled out physical toxins, my skin looks better…younger, but it seems to be pulling out mental and emotional toxins as well. Things are surfacing…old stuff…but the difference is that it’s coming with new understanding and release. I feel a peace and relief that I have never felt before, a safety and security.
I was thinking the other day how much influence our families can have over how we feel about ourselves just by their reaction or non reaction to us. It shapes how we value ourselves…and others for that matter, what we think, believe and see as reality. But what if they reject us? What if they abandon us? What if they didn’t know what they were doing, operating out of pain and defensiveness? Does that make us any less valuable? Does it change who we are? I think it can definitely make a big impact on us, but it doesn’t need to be the deciding factor. In reality it does not change who we are…at the core….and it can really show you what you are made of. If you feel that you always have something/someone to fall back on it can give you the courage to try just about anything and terrified if you don’t have that security. What if you could create that feeling of love, value and security for yourself? What if it was always there? How would you live your life? What would you be doing? The truth is that you are loved beyond measure….maybe not by the people around you now…but the right people will find you when you start living your truth and you will find them…you are so valuable and you do have someone who will guide you, teach you, catch you if you fall and gently pick you back up…I call Him God…He’s unbreakable and can handle anything, nothing you do is a surprise to Him or would cause Him to turn his back on you…nothing. He has total love and compassion for you, you are safe.