The things we find when spring cleaning

I was just going thorough a cabinet in my bedroom and found this paper from 8-13-03….obviously the start of another diet.

Weight 190                                      Thursday was 128.5, (and has been for 3 1/2 yrs)

Neck        15 in                                 Today 13

Chest        48.5                                 Today 37

Mid drift  38.5                                 Today 32.25

Waist         39.5                                 Today 29

Abs             45.5                                 Today  33     (the little pouch below the belly button)

hips             43.5                                Today 33.5

Thigh          25.5                                Today  19.5

Calf              16                                     Today 14

Arm             13.5                                 Today  10.5

Well yes I’m very grateful and that wasn’t even my worst….I have gotten up to 205 or 210….it seems like an entirely different lifetime.  This is where God has been doing for me what I was never able to do for myself.  I was thinking the other day about my Dad.  We all try to do better for our kids than we had….and he really did so much better for my sister and me than was shown to him by his dad….way better.  One thing about him growing up was that they were very poor…and while they got enough….just enough….to eat, it was mainly staple food like macarroni, and he could do a lot with macaroni that made it taste so good….grandma too.  There was something about his father eating steak and they would smell it and want it….but they would get hot dogs….he didn’t like to talk about his father much and when he did it was obviously painful so we just didn’t go there.  Any way my point is that early on there was a connection with food and love.  My dad didn’t get what he needed from his father…in love, attention or on a physical matter…food.  My parents were divorced when I was 2 so as long as I can remember, visiting my dad was like going to a party.  I would see him every other weekend and we would have to fit all that love and attention into those two days.  Food was always the center of focus weather we were at home or out to a retaurant with a lot of people or just home playing games….my dad loved us and wanted to show us love in a place that he was aware of that would make a person feel loved….food….and not just enough….more than enough….he never wanted us to want for it….and we didn’t….not while we were with him, (but we did with our mother)….and it was good and plenty.  I think he gave himself love that way too….or tried to fill that void.  I wish I could give him a big hug right now, I miss him so much and I wish that I could show him what I know now….I think that he’s the one who showed me how to get on this path.  I had also learned that showing love was providing enormous amounts of “good” food to people and when all of the deaths were happening and all of the pain that followed came, I tried to replace that love with food….and more food….and more food….but it just made me full, fat, depressed and still in need of love.

Wow, I didn’t imagine that I would be going in this direction when I sat down to tell you what I found.  For a moment I thought that I would just delete it and be grateful for the personal insight…..but if someone else can gain from this insight….then that’s a good thing.  The void is no longer a void….God filled it up….all I had to do was ask….and He really is always here.   I show myself love…and my family love….by taking good care of myself so that I can be my best for them as well as myself.  I’m finally at peace with who I am, where I came from, whom I came from and the situations that have been.  I’ve been on this beautiful sunny road for a while now and I feel safe….I never felt safe before but I didn’t know it because it was just a normal existance for me.

Yesterday I did Kathy Smiths Fat Burning Aeorbics for exercise.

Food:  1/4 C oat bran, Strawberry/Banana Smoothie, Green drink, oil pill

16 oz raw/cooked Butternut Squash soup, ezekiel bread, 1/4 avocado, pina collad  smoothie.

16 oz jicama, cucumber and radishes, 1/2 sweet potato (fries), chocolate/peanut butter smoothie, 1/4 avocado….I dipped the jicama in it.

Oooops, I forgot I was cleaning out cupboards : )  See ya!

April 30, 2009

Brett’s home safe.  Eric and Alexis went to get him last night….we were going to get him today….and today is gorgeous out side….they moved him in the rain last night….but now they get to go golfing instead.  I’ve done about 4 loads of laundry….I think Brett just quit doing it a few months ago….he said a couple of weeks, but….I don’t know….it’s okay for now, I’m happy that he’s home.  Poor Alexis still had to go to school, we were going to let her come with us today…but it’s all done….she’s been texting me….and at least negotiated some Diet Pepsi Max….My dad was a professional negotiator….no joke, he was a mediator….both my kids seemed to pick up that trait : )

I didn’t go last night because I was in class.  Meditation class….I love it!  Last year around this time I did the raw food fast and this year it has been vegan….with a lot of that being raw….obviously if you’ve been reading my blog.  Last year I had some interesting emotions come up and out….this year it’s been pretty mellow but there’s a blissful expectancy.

I feel really lucky with the program that I’m in….it’s spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.  It seems like I take care of an issue on one of these levels and it effects all the others….they are all in sync….or all off….what ever you prefer….I prefer in sync.  I’ve been reading “Raw Emotions” by Angela Stokes (She went totally raw when she was over 300 lbs….but still had the obsession with the sugars and processed foods….an amazing transformation), and watched Oprah yesterday, (Kirstie Alley was on and gained all her weight back….I would love for her to learn about this sugar/flour obsession).  You don’t have to be a labeled compulsive eater….that’s what I am….to have a problem with sugar and flour or reap the rewards of obstaining from it….I read so much that it’s a drug….the drug of choice for many….and it’s such a trap and such a prison….and we think it’s our reward.  I am so grateful that it’s necessary for me to stay away from it….otherwise I would forever trying to figure it into my eating….hey, that’s what I did do and why I don’t do that anymore ; ).  I like living like this….I like it a lot!

I just want to add also that getting here to this point hasn’t been just one thing.  For me it’s been the 12 step groups, meditation…years and years of meditation….but I love it…now there’s a drug for me : )….church, (tv and in real life) , the people that God has put into my life….they’re always just the right ones you know….even….maybe especially the ones who we think are there to drive us nuts ; )….we learn some valuable lessons from them…and they stick….and it doesn’t drive us nuts anymore when we learn them.  What led me to everything I needed?  The 3rd and 7th step prayers….and I still say them every day.

Food yesterday was:

1/4 C oat bran, pina colada smoothie, green drink, oil pill, multi vitamin/mineral.

16 oz Butternut Squash soup – Indian Style…1/2 raw and 1/2 cooked, 1 slice sprouted bread with 1/4 avocado, 1 oz puffed wheat with 1 C soy milk, 4 oz pineapple, 1/2 banana.

16 oz awesome rawsome salad with corn and 1/4 avocado, Chocolate/peanut butter smoothie.

Exercise was Pilates and a lot of spring cleaning….I’m going to do more of that….I just found out that our neighborhood garage sale is next Friday and I have a lot of things to get rid of…big things….will that equal big money?  I hope so….because then I can buy more things….my grandma used to tell me, “We need people like you Sandee….you keep our economy going”….let’s all get out there and do our parts to keep this economy alive : )

April 29, 2009

I’m so excited, Brett is coming home tonight…it looks like he got a 4.0 for the semester again too….way to go Brett!!!

Exercise yesterday was Pilates….I do the Winsor Pilates 20 minute workout….I have it memorized so that I can do it in about 10-12 minutes while watching Joyce Meyer.

1/4 C oat bran, oil pill, pinapple smoothie, green drink

Butternut soup, 2 oz soy nut butter, apple, flour free bread, 1/4 avocado

homemade raw spaghetti sauce, (it was awesome!), zucchini pasta, cucumber, radish, chocolate/peanut butter smoothie.

April 28,2009

For exercise I did “Bun’s of Steel Yoga”, another oldie but goodie…also about 45 minutes.  Lucky me also I got a massage at the Chiropractor.  I’ve had problems with the bottoms of my feet….and getting worse all the time….for the past month or two….I had a little of it last year too but it cleared up with the raw food and a colonic.  I had a massage about a week and a half ago too and it seemed like the pain left….but then it came back the next day worse.  I went on a 3 day juice fast and it seemed to almost disappear….then I started eating again and it came back….I was thinking that I needed another colonic and maybe to go all raw again….I’m still excited about going raw again anyway….and I do have flat feet so I was thinking that I needed to start looking in the orthopedic shoe department : )  I’m not a grandma yet….not for a long time.  Well, back to the massage….she cracked both of my feet in the middle and it was really really loud.  Today….even barefoot through the house….they don’t hurt….I can even push on the callus’s and they don’t hurt.

For food:  1/4 C oatbran, Pinacolada smoothie, oil pill, green drink

16 oz butternut squash soup…1/2 raw and 1/2 cooked….it wasn’t blending well all raw….but it tasted wonderful all together!   4 oz buckwheat with 1/2 C soy milk, 1/2 banana, 4 oz strawberries

16 oz Awesome Rawsome salad with an ear of corn….raw corn is so much better than cooked.  Sprouted bread, 1/4 avocado, Chocolate/peanut butter smoothie.

April 27, 2009

Yesterday I did Kathy Smith’s Fat Burning Work out…..it’s about an hour….maybe a little less….and very old….but good.  I like it because it gets all my muscles warmed up, toned and stretched….it’s an over all good feeling.

1/4 C oat bran, oil pill, strawberry/banana smoothie, green drink, vitamins

16 oz mung bean sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, cucumber, tomato, cucumber, matchstick carrots and radishes, 1/4 avocado…..OMG this was really good!

Homemade raw chili with corn and,  1 slice of Sprouted bread with 1/4 avocado and tomato slice, chocolate/peanut butter smoothie….this was OMG good too…..I love spring and all of this fresh food!

Rawvolution

I watched and got to participate in a live chat on line with Angela Stokes and Matt Monarch….they’re raw food leaders.  I am still so fascinated with that life style….in a lot of ways it’s not me….but there is a real pull….and the short time that I did it I noticed a profound difference emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.  Look at Angela’s story when you get a chance (rawreform.com), she lost over 160 lbs….she now weighs less than that and has maintained it for I think 7 or 8 years….eating all raw.  Reading stories like hers, Shazzie, David Wolfe, Tanya Zavasta, the Butinko’s and more all inspired me to do it last year and it was a really nice experience….one that I’ve been trying to get back in to doing.  I’ve stayed over 50% raw, but the more the better.

I made an amazing salad today that’s similar to one I have in the recipes from last year….but it has more stuff….and was so good that it will be for lunch tomorrow.  It’s full of sprouts, raw corn….amazing….tomato, cucumber, radishes and avocado….everything was so juicy and fresh dressing was not needed or missed.

On Angel’s blog she lists what she eats each day….I really like that….I like to know exactly what people are doing to get the results that they’re getting and she inspired me to do the same so I’ll be journaling what I’m eating and any exercise that I’m doing too.    So I’ll be reporting the day before when I do it.

green drink, oil pill, 1/4 C oat bran,( 4 oz strawberries, 1/2 banana, 4 oz tofu, 1 C vanilla soy milk, stevia, banana extract….all blended to make a smoothie), vitamins.

12 spiralina/chlorella tabs, 16 oz salad with homemade dressing….it wasn’t good, 1/2 sweet potato….made into fries, 8 oz grapes, (chocolate/peanut butter Smoothie), vitamins.

Butternut soup, (this will be on the website and was really, really good….last night was cooked but I’m going to try raw tomorrow.)  8 oz salad with 4 oz sprouted garbanzo beans and 4 T Goddess Dressing.

I did some light yard work….washed and carried the patio chairs for exercise….not ideal….yeah for spring though!!!!

Is Yoga Enough?

My basement is getting finished….it’s looking great too….but I haven’t been able to do my “Firm” workout for a couple of weeks.  I thought this was a good opportunity to go raw again, (also just because I was feeling stuck and heavy) and to see how I would do on just yoga and pilates….go for that nice lean dancer type of look.  Last week I did yoga…a little too intensely…what I though were toxins leaving my kidneys were really bones and/or muscles being strained too much.  The result….acute back pain for the past 4 days.   I’ve also had to do some painting….it will save me $800 : )…..but going up and down that little ladder didn’t feel so good….and I think it made it worse….walking felt good though….but the bottom line is that I really didn’t exercise much at all last week…or the week before….except for a few days.  Today even though….maybe because…..I was in pain I did yoga.  I did one that I’ve had for  a while but couldn’t do before….I did it…all except “The Raven”, (you put your body weight up on your arms and balance….I’m so not there yet).  It was way too hard for me in the past and I never finished it….today, it was refreshing….and my back has loosened up a bit.  I have a Chiropractor appointment and massage this afternoon…so the two of them will get me up and running again…just kidding about the running…I don’t run.

I’m wondering now though if yoga is enough.  It looks like that’s the main exercise of a lot of raw fooders, it feels good…..and I know a woman who is about 65 who does it…and does it well….she looks amazing, (healthy, bright eyes, skin and hair, no wrinkles), and seems to have a full and abundant life….I know she’s been a vegetarian for quite a few years too.  I look at people like Rodney Yee….he’s all muscle and Marielle Hemingway….she looks great and is my age.  I would love feed back on your personal experience with it.

My health has improved again : )

I go every January to have the check up tests….it’s my birthday presant to myself : )  Last year my thyroid was low and so was my energy.  It’s funny because for about 20 years….since I found out that your thyroid going off can make you fat and taking the medication can mean weight loss…..I wanted my thyroid to be off….now that I’m finally at a comfortable and stable weight…it happened….go figure.  Now I don’t want medication…if I can avoid it…if I need it, I’ll take it….but I hope to not need it and to find the source of the disease.  I had the prescription for armor thyroid…it’s supposed to be more natural…it comes from a pig….but can still go haywire in the system…..although I did read some very positive things about it….that’s why I filled the prescription….but I still didn’t want to be on medication.  I started taking kelp drops in my water, (for the iodine because iodine regulates the thyroid), when I bought them the woman said to be careful….when she took them she was bouncing off the walls….so I took what I thought was the minimum….nothing happened for over a week.  I decided to take the medication and had it in my hand when I looked at the bottle one more time….it said 8 drops….so I gave it another chance….and my energy came back that very day, and the next, and the next….life was good….I later changed to “Metabolic Advantage” it had more stuff in it and have been taking those ever since along with occasional kelp drops….my energy dropped again recently…but it is winter….and I added back the kelp drops, that seems to help again.  Any way, when I got my test results back this year the thyroid was way within the normal range!  I love this life style.  Biologically I’m aging….but physically….it actually seems to be continually improving :  )  Thanks God!

Cabin fever anyone?

Every year…in the fall….I tell myself that I’m not going to let the weather and the light effect my actions and mood….and every year it does.  I think that January and February are the most challenging.  Right now the sun is kind of shining on the snow…that’s really pretty….but for the most part I’m ready for spring.  It starts getting hard to make myself do anything other than what is absolutely necessary, it’s the “hibernation” time of year….and sometimes I just go with it.  One thing that I’ve made an absolute necessity though is exercise, it releases endorphins….those “feel good chemicals”, and boy do I need them this time of year….but I have to make myself keep up with it because it’s just so easy to fall into a slump.  Yesterday I did an hour weight/aerobic workout then sat in the infra red sauna for 40 minutes….my entire mood and out look changed back to positive, hopeful, happy…..I do the weight/aerobic workout 2 days a week and yoga/pilates 2 days a week.

The class at the YMCA started this week….we have a great group….I know it’s going to be fun….and that will help with the feeling up and good….another important thing to do in the winter is to have focus on the positive and to be around people who are moving forward….also important is to turn that t.v. off….especially the news.  The news is designed to get our attention…and the negative/fear based stuff usually does it.  I found a website for my area that shows all of the progress going on and coming in(capitalgainsmedia.com)….there are so many wonderful things happening here in Lansing Michigan but you would never know it just listening to the news….in fact all I want to do is go jump in my bed and pull the covers over my head.

Other positive things to do are watching motivational movies like “The Secret”, “You Can Heal Your Life”….this isn’t the same as keeping the tv on : ).  Read inspirational books, go places with friends, take a fun little class, go to the YMCA and work out, start “spring cleaning” on the inside so when it’s warm again you can just get out there.  My personal favorite is what my cousing Kim does….and I hope to some day as well….she and Kevin go one week each of the yucky months  to either a warm and exciting place or a cruise….yes, I think that’s the winner of the day.  Well, I just pumped myself up to get some things done….talk to you soon : )

Tuning in for the day

Hi, How’s your fast going?  I’m feeling very peaceful today.  Food, any food, tastes so good after a juice fast.  Yogurt was a regular for me at every meal so I was worried about not having any animal products….I also have a tendency to eat the same thing over and over….”if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” kind of mentality and also to avoid feeling deprived I make sure that I eat things that I really like…then I’m happy.  This isn’t about food though, it’s about spritual growth, insight and connection.  It’s also about releasing patterns that aren’t for our highest good and it’s such a wonderful feeling.  Physically I feel clean and energised, if you don’t now that’s okay, it will come.  Toxins being released make you feel sick, like headaches, nausea, just achey and blaa….drink your water, flush the garbage out….make sure you’re drinking your fresh juices, green drinks and taking some olive oil and mineral salt….it will pass….and your health will spring forward.  Two years ago when I did it I was so full of aspartame….I had no idea how poisonous it was….I was really sick for about a day and a half but when it all passed I felt better than I had in a very long time…not just physically but emotionally too….that stuff is poison.

Emotionally and mentally I feel very mellow….I wasn’t earlier though.  I took Brett back to school yesterday after he was home for 2 1/2 weeks, I got used to him being here and being aware of what he was doing and where he was and when he was gone again it made me feel panicky….I think that I had momentary separation anxiety….it’s really hard to let them grow up : )  He’s fine though….more than fine actually, he’s doing an awesome job.

Spiritually I’m feeling very aware and clear.  The Daniel fast is supposed to bring awareness of God’s vision for our lives and that’s what the 21 day fast is so don’t forget to tune in and ask for that insight.